Episode Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
This page is the transcript for Super Mario 64 Bloopers: HALL 9000.
Transcript[]
| (The blooper begins with Mario and Toad in the castle) | |
| Toad | Hey Mario you know what we should really get? |
| Mario | What? |
| Robber | (comes onscreen) Thanks for letting me steal your TV |
| Mario | Your welcome! |
| (The robber goes offscreen) | |
| Toad | We should get security |
| (The camera shifts to show a robber in the background) | |
| Mario | Why? Robbers holding rocket launchers? |
| Robber | (takes out rocket launcher) ROCKET LAUNCHER! |
| Toad | Well... yeah and the fact that they keep stealing our stuff |
| (explosion) | |
| Mario | Don't worry they'll go away soon enough |
| (another explosion) | |
| Toad | And soon enough is how long??? |
| Mario | Even if they did steal, they couldn't steal anything good.. |
| Mario | (running offscreen) HEY! YOU ROBBERS! COME BACK WITH THE REFRIGERATOR! It has all the pasta in it!!!!!!!! |
| (There are sounds of punching offscreen and Mario comes back naked) | |
| Mario | You know what I think it is best to get a security system:) |
| Mario | Right after I get those robbers WITH MY GUN! (runs offscreen) |
| (There is a sound of a gunshot offscreen) | |
| Mario | Damn! My head!... Now its getting all red... Wow... Its like... Oh........... |
| (The screen cuts to black) | |
| Screen Text | Yeah yeah SM64 bloopers... Screw the intro |
| (The screen cuts to show Mario and a security salesman outside of the castle) | |
| Salesman | Yes... Yes very interesting... I think I may be able to cover your castle with security systems Mr. Mario |
| Mario | Oh that's good... How much is the cost though |
| Salesman | Well... Lets see 3 levels, outsides and inside, cameras, trip mines, alert system, protecting all day |
| Salesman | That would come to |
| Mario | (knocks the salesman away from the castle) And stay out!!!! |
| Salesman | But I didn't even say the price yet |
| Mario | Really?... Sorry... Tell me the price again |
| Salesman | You know what... To avoid death I'm going to give it to you for free |
| Mario | Yahoo! Free technologie! (runs back to the castle) |
| Salesman | That was close |
| Salesman | (turns offscreen) Ok men! Start construction!!!!! |
| (The screen cuts to black) | |
| Screen Text | One month later |
| (The screen cuts to Mario and the salesman outside of the newly secured castle) | |
| Salesman | Ok Mario your security system is now installed |
| Mario | Wow... |
| Mario | It still looks the same!!! |
| Salesman | Its suppose to so no one knows there is security |
| Salesman | Let me show you some of the security |
| (The screen cuts to show video feed from a camera overlooking the castle) | |
| Salesman | So all around your castle is ver high tech cameras |
| Salesman | Recording 24/7 |
| Mario | That's creepy... |
| (The screen shows numerous TF2 Sentries around the castle) | |
| Salesman | You got sentrys sourrouding your castles |
| Salesman | Watch out for spys though |
| (The screen shows metal fences over the castle windows) | |
| Salesman | You got bared windows |
| (One of the fences falls off of the castle as the scene cuts to the castle door) | |
| Salesman | A door that will need identification |
| Mario | Seems like the same door |
| (Mario and the salesman enter the castle) | |
| Salesman | Ooh your going to like this one |
| (The camera shifts to show lasers in the castle's main room) | |
| Salesman | Your whole castle is protected by trip alarms |
| Salesman | But you can switch them off if you want to |
| (The screen cuts back to the castle exterior) | |
| Salesman | And I want you to meet the person who will be control over these systems |
| (The camera shifts to show a circular monitor that looks like a red eye on the castle wall) | |
| Salesman | The HALL 9000 with very smart intelligence |
| Mario | Hello Hall |
| Hall-9000 | Hello Mario |
| Salesman | You two should get along see you (leaves) |
| Hall-9000 | How may I be of assistance? |
| Mario | Uhh.... Can I have sphagetti |
| Mario | With meatballs? |
| (A plate of spaghetti appears in front of Mario) | |
| Mario | Woooo! I know we're going to be real friends Hall |
| Mario | Ok now to go inside |
| Hall-9000 | STOP! Identification please |
| Mario | What do you mean? I'm Mario!!!!!! |
| Mario | The fat dude in overalls |
| Hall-9000 | Identification accepted please enter |
| Mario | (enters the castle) Well security's kind of cool |
| (Alarms begin to go off in the castle as the lighting turns red) | |
| Mario | What did I do?! It must be Santa! |
| Mario | I'm sorry Santa! I always believed in you!!! |
| Toad | You hit the trip alarm! Turn it off! |
| Mario | False alarm! HALL! FALSE ALARM! |
| (The lighting goes back to normal and the alarms fade) | |
| Hall-9000 | False alarm turning off |
| Mario | Phew... I thought it was Santa |
| (The screen cuts to Mario talking to Hall-9000) | |
| Mario | So Hall... What country are you from? |
| Hall-9000 | Aperature Laboratories |
| Mario | Really?! Luigi too |
| Mario | You know that once Luigi tried too kill me |
| Hall-9000 | That is really interesting |
| Mario | Yeahhhhhh good times |
| (The screen cuts to show SMG4 approaching the castle) | |
| SMG4 | So that's where Mario put my keyboard!!! |
| SMG4 | Did he have to use it as toilet paper! |
| SMG4 | I'm never letting him touch my stuff again |
| (The screen cuts back to the security camera view) | |
| Hall-9000 | A stranger appears! |
| SMG4 | Of course I can make him touch the bosses and they'll die straight away |
| Hall-9000 | Identifaction please |
| SMG4 | What do you mean identification? I'm Marios friend! |
| SMG4 | Who is this? |
| Hall-9000 | Security systems |
| SMG4 | LET ME IN SECURITY. Let me in or I will destroy you! |
| Hall-9000 | THREAT DETECTED! Going to prepardness mode |
| (Numerous guns appear and point at SMG4) | |
| SMG4 | Wow... Lets not get violent |
| SMG4 | CAUSE THIS IS A G RATED GAME! (runs away) |
| SMG4 | :( No one told me we got security how am I going to get inside? |
| (The screen shifts to show the sentries all pointed at SMG4) | |
| SMG4 | And whats making that beeping noise? |
| SMG4 | (looks at sentries) Of course... |
| (The screen cuts away from the sentries as they all begin firing) | |
| SMG4 | (crawling away) Get out get out they're shooting each other |
| SMG4 | Thank god... Well at least I'm NICE! |
| (The screen cuts to SMG4 in the castle moat) | |
| SMG4 | HAHA! Did they ever think of me using the basement! |
| (SMG4 goes offscreen, there are gunshots, then he comes back on facing away from the camera) | |
| SMG4 | I was wrong and now I have a hole in my face |
| (The screen cuts back to the main castle exterior) | |
| SMG4 | Screw this I'm running for it!!!!!! (runs to the castle door) |
| SMG4 | AHHHHHHHHH! |
| (SMG4 enters the castle as the alarms and red lights come back on) | |
| SMG4 | MARIO MARIO!!!! HWKF_JWJGIKWFSGJWJIPWIPGIPJFWSGWIOPGOWPLP! |
| Hall-9000 | Intruder alert! Intruder alert!!!!! |
| Mario | WHAT DID YOU SAY?! YOUR GAY? |
| Mario | Wait FALSE ALARM! HALL! FALSE ALARM!!!!!!!! |
| Hall-9000 | Intuder!!! INTRUDER! |
| Mario | He's not an intruder! |
| SMG4 | I knew robots didn't like my colour code! |
| SMG4 | Whatever I know when I'm not wanted (exits the castle) |
| (The alarms stop and the lights go back to normal) | |
| Hall-9000 | Intruder gone. Systems back to normal |
| Mario | Hey! That was my friend! Not an intruder! |
| Mario | Who made you the boss?! |
| Hall-9000 | Ever since I was installed now get out of my castle! |
| Mario | You can't kick me out I eat here! |
| Hall-9000 | Going to destructive mode! |
| Mario | I'm not scared of you! |
| (The scene cuts to the castle exterior) | |
| Mario | (screams like a girl while running away from the castle) |
| SMG4 | You were scared weren't you |
| Mario | :( Shut up! |
| SMG4 | Well looks like we're hobos now all thanks to you |
| Mario | Toad made me install security! |
| (The screen cuts to another camera feed) | |
| Hall-9000 | Detecting 2 noobs |
| Hall-9000 | FIRING LASERS! |
| (The screen goes back to normal) | |
| SMG4 | Wow watchout! (runs away from the castle) |
| Mario | Huh? (looks to the castle) |
| Mario | AHHHHHHHHHHH! (follows SMG4) |
| (Lasers fire off in the background as Mario dives away) | |
| Mario | Oh no I think I got hit! |
| Mario | I'm dying! I got hit NOOOO! |
| Mario | I can see the light! |
| Mario | OH why didn't I murder someone before I die! |
| SMG4 | Mario... |
| Mario | OH NO I THINK I SEE HELL!!!! |
| SMG4 | MARIO! |
| Mario | What? I'm trying to die here! |
| SMG4 | We need to find a way into the castle and shutdown the security systems |
| SMG4 | Without getting raped |
| Mario | Can't we just run for it I mean how heavily guarded is it? |
| (The screen cuts to an area closer to the castle) | |
| MIPS | (runs toward the castle) Ooh I am so late for tea! |
| MIPS | TEA! Must be in time for tee! Must teabag! |
| (The screen cuts back to Mario and SMG4 as they see a huge laser being fired) | |
| Mario | Ooohhh |
| X | (walks onscreen) Hi guys watcha doing? |
| SMG4 | Oh hi X we're kind of busy finding a way into the castle without getting caught by security |
| Mario | Hey I dare you to go near the castle |
| SMG4 | DON'T listen to him! |
| X | May I suggest that you should do this at night |
| X | (quietly) ...Stupid Mario... (walks offscreen) |
| SMG4 | Why didn't we think of that |
| (The screen cuts to black) | |
| Screen Text | Time: midnight |
| (The screen shows the exterior of the castle at night, as Mario is sleeping) | |
| SMG4 | Mario!... |
| SMG4 | MARIO! |
| Mario | (wakes up) WHAT CAKE! |
| SMG4 | ShhhhH! They're going to hear us.... |
| SMG4 | Now lets sneak into the castle and shut down that system (runs toward the castle) |
| Mario | (approaches the castle) Dew dew DEW dew dew |
| Mario | Super spy |
| Mario | Faster than a snail! |
| Mario | Fatter than the world its- |
| SMG4 | Mario! What are you doing? |
| SMG4 | Watch out... |
| SMG4 | Sentrys.. |
| (The screen shifts to show sentries lined up on the castle bridge, then back) | |
| Mario | How do we get past? |
| SMG4 | Hmm |
| (The screen cuts to show Mario and SMG4 at the side of the castle) | |
| SMG4 | We're going to use our moon jump codes to get to the roof |
| Mario | But the moon jump code isn't switched on |
| SMG4 | *groan* |
| SMG4 | (turns on moon jump) There |
| SMG4 | Ok lets go |
| (SMG4 and Mario moon jump to the roof) | |
| SMG4 | Ok now we break a hole in the roof and go through there |
| Mario | Sounds painful |
| SMG4 | Mario you keep ground pounding until the roof breaks |
| Mario | (ground pounds the roof repeatedly) Why me? Because my butt is thick? |
| Mario | Stupid stupid stupid! |
| Mario | (breaks through the roof) Ow... Hey we're in! |
| SMG4 | Shhhhh hide just hide HALL might see us |
| Hall-9000 | Sound detected... |
| (The screen cuts to an interior security camera, showing Mario partially hidden behind the stairs) | |
| Hall-9000 | Hmm... Do not see intruder |
| Hall-9000 | Going into alert mode |
| SMG4 | Great you alerted him thanks a lot |
| Mario | Your welcome |
| SMG4 | Lets just find the systems |
| (The screen cuts to SMG4 and Mario climbing up the main room stairs...) | |
| SMG4 | Quick hurry up |
| Mario | Don't pressure me I'm a sensitive guy |
| (...then up the stairs to the second floor) | |
| Mario | Hurry up SMG4 now your the slow one! |
| SMG4 | Yeah yeah (glitches to the second floor) |
| Mario | I hate that glitch |
| (The screen shows Mario, SMG4 and X searching the second floor) | |
| SMG4 | Where is that system? |
| SMG4 | *sigh* |
| Mario | (inside a room) Hey SMG4! I think I found it in here! |
| SMG4 | (enters the room) Where? Let me see |
| (The screen shifts to show Hall-9000's operating system) | |
| SMG4 | Yes! This is it! Lets go! (runs toward the system) |
| Mario | I got a good feeling about this (follows SMG4) |
| SMG4 | Almost there! |
| Hall-9000 | Whoops forgot to switch on trip alarms |
| (Lasers appear, surrounding SMG4 and Mario and blocking the computers) | |
| Computer | (echoing) Trip mines activated |
| SMG4 | Wow! Mario freeze! |
| Mario | WOW!... |
| SMG4 | Do not move a muscle... or we are screwed |
| Mario | *gulp* ...So now what do we do? |
| SMG4 | Well since we can't move... We got 3 options |
| Mario | What's that? |
| SMG4 |
Option 1: Do nothing Option 2: Die Option 3: Try to get out |
| Mario | I vote option 2 |
| SMG4 | How about we play I Spy? |
| Mario | Ok you go |
| SMG4 | I spy something beginning with T |
| Mario | Trip alarms? |
| SMG4 | No Tubby XD |
| Mario | Why you... Whatever how long are we going to be here? |
| SMG4 | I don't know |
| Screen Text | 1 second later |
| Mario | Uh-oh I'm going to AAH |
| SMG4 | No no don't! |
| Mario | AHHHHHH SNEEZE! (moves and triggers trip alarm) |
| (The lights turn red and alarms begin to go off) | |
| Computer | (echoing) Intruder alert! Intruder alert! |
| Mario | Whoops |
| SMG4 | You idiot now we're going to get raped! |
| Hall-9000 | INTRUDER ALERT! |
| Hall-9000 | Blocking all doors, calling police! Getting nuke ready! |
| SMG4 | Just come on! We'll turn it off!!!! (goes over to the computers) |
| SMG4 | Ummmmm... What do you do to kill a computer? |
| Mario | Hurry up! Its starting to get really red! |
| SMG4 | ...WAIT KNOW I KNOW! |
| SMG4 | You do this... click on this and... DONE! |
| Hall-9000 | O: You didn't-... |
| SMG4 | Oh yes I did! |
| (The screen cuts to a photo-negative Hall-9000 monitor) | |
| Hall-9000 | OH YOU SON A OF A ODWK FWKOGW}B FG kogdhto[nrsymfhgdfx |
| Hall-9000 | hehafafsgdeh would you like some Chinese food.gsphbdh ghfjjsjthjrjrt |
| Hall-9000 | Ja--🗌 I--o--I-Ja--🗌 I--o--I-Ja--🗌 I--o--I-Ja--🗌 I--o--I-Ja--🗌 I--o--I-Ja--🗌 I--o--I- |
| Hall-9000 | ERRORERROR SHUTTING DOWN |
| (The screen cuts to a blue screen of death, then to the castle exterior as Hall-9000 explodes) | |
| SMG4 | And that ends that |
| Mario | Yeah! |
| Mario | But how did you do it? |
| SMG4 | I did what any person would do to kill a computer |
| SMG4 | I erased the system32 file LOLOLOLOLOL! |
| Mario | OH I DON'T GET IT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! |
| SMG4 | Yeah I guess its kind of funny. Haha |
| (The screen cuts to black) | |
| Mario | ...Can I do that to your computer? |
| SMG4 | Do it and I'll break your arm |
| End of transcript |