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Template:BG/General This is a transcript for Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Have you seen this Polygon?.
Transcript
[Intro of Mario falling out of paintings plays]
Intro Text: A Supermarioglitchy4 production
Intro Text: Of...
Intro Text: SM64 bloopers!!!!
Intro Text: Starring...
Intro Text: The italian who is falling out of the pictures right now!
Intro Text: AKA Mario!
Intro Text: Enjoy the blooper!
[Scene cuts to Mario outside of the castle]
Mario: Hello viewers!
Mario: Lets have a blooper!... If something weird happens
Mario: Wonder what Toad is up to
[Scene cuts to Mario and Toad in the castle main room]
Mario: Hey turd... I mean Toad!
Toad: Uhhh Mario are you okay?
[The camera shifts to show that Mario's left hand is missing]
Mario: Yeah! But my butt hurts for some reason
Toad: Uhhh Mario aren't you feeling that something is missing?
Mario: No... execpt I don't have a girlfriend and I'm hungry
Toad: YOUR HAND MARIO! WHERES YOUR HAND?!
Mario: Silly Toad I have my hand right... uh oh
Mario: Where did my hand go?
Mario: Can I borrow your's Toad?
Toad: No! There really stubby anyway
Mario: And that was my playing hand! Wheres Lefty!
Mario: Bowser is an expert on hands!
[Scene cuts to Mario in front of Bowser in his lair]
Bowser: No I am not an expert on hands!
Bowser: But I do know something
[Mario steps closer to Bowser]
Bowser: Uhhh not so close....
[Mario steps back]
Bowser: You might know if you jump off the edge
Mario: Really!
[Mario jumps off the edge]
[Scene cuts to Mario back in the castle main room]
Mario: Well that didn't work
Toad: Your such an idiot, you can't get your hand if you jump off a cliff!
Toad: In fact it does the opposite
Mario: Hmmm I need to think like a hand...
Mario: If I was a hand where would I go?....
[Scene cuts to Mario in front of Peach outside the castle]
Mario: Hey Peach give my hand back!
Peach: What? I don't have your hand why did you come to me?
Mario: Uhh don't worry...
Mario: Peach... I KNOW YOU HAVE MY HAND
[Mario picks up Peach]
Mario: If you won't give it to me then I shall use you as a hand
Mario: Ahhh your to big
[Mario throws Peach]
Mario: I need to pick my nose but my right hand is too lazy!
Mario: My right hand is useless
Mario: Wait! I know!
[Scene cuts to Mario in front of Lakitu outside the castle]
Mario: Lakitu your a nerd right?
Lakitu: No! I am not a nerd I'm a geek!
Mario: But your wearing glasses so that means your a nerd
Lakitu: .....Just go away
Mario: Do you know where my hand went?
Lakitu: Your hand fell off? Well thats normal
[Mario picks up Lakitu]
Mario: Tell me nerd!
Lakitu: I don't know!
Mario: Then go see your other nerd friends!
[Mario throws Lakitu]
Mario: I still don't know what to do now
Mario: Theres only one person to talk to now...
[Scene cuts to Mario back in the castle main room]
Mario: Toad I need help!
Toad: Who cares about that polygon
Mario: Who cares?! I scratched my butt with that hand!
Toad: Well then go to the hands in Shifting Sand Land
Mario: What about them they're just hands
Toad: ....Mario your an idiot
Mario: Why thank you Toad
Toad: ....Just go!
[Scene cuts to Mario in the pyramid in Shifting Sand Land]
Mario: Hey rocky hands do you know where my hand went?
Eyerok: Hmm what kind of hand are you talking about
Mario: Its small, white and kind of gay looking
Eyerok: ...You must be talking about... "him"...
Mario: Who's "him"?
Eyerok: He's a strong hand and he lives somewhere in the sky
Mario: How can I get to "him"
Eyerok: I don't know
Mario: Do'h!
[Scene cuts to Mario back in the castle main room]
Mario: Toad theres this guy I can't get to and he lives in the sky.
Toad: Why do you want to see god
Mario: Its not god! Its a hand and hes in the sky somewhere
Toad: Don't look at me
Mario: Hmmm somewhere in that ugly blue
Mario: My hand can't be that hand... can it?
Toad: Well yours is pretty fat to me
Mario: Well this is the part where I go to random people for help...
[Scene cuts to Mario on top of the Whomp King]
Mario: Do you know where a giant hand lives in the sky
Whomp King: Uhhh I think my brain exploded
[Scene cuts to Mario by the eel in Jolly Roger Bay]
Mario: Eel do you know a hand that lives in the sky
Eel: Rawr?
Mario: Stupid eel... you don't even have hands
[Scene cuts to Mario by a Boo in the castle]
Mario: Yo ghost word in the hood theres a hand living in the sky
[The Boo leaves to the courtyard]
Mario: Where are you going?!.... You have gay hands!
[Scene cuts to Mario back in the castle main room]
Mario: Toad do you... wait...
Toad: Mario!
Mario: Sorry! I suck at this detective work
[Scene cuts to Mario by King Bob-omb at the summit]
Mario: Hey king do you know about a hand that lives in the sky?
King Bob-omb: No but I do know that if there was one I would slap you in the face with it
[Scene cuts to Mario by a penguin in Cool, Cool Mountain]
Mario: Hey grandma do you know a hand that lives in the sky
Penguin: (cry) No do you know where my baby went?
Mario: Uhhhh....
[Flashback to a few days ago]
Mario: Hey look a baby penguin
[Mario picks up the penguin]
Mario: Yes you'll go great with as my toilet seat
Mario: Hmmm no one owns him
[Mario drops the penguin over the edge]
Mario: Hahahahah I'm soo evil!
[Flashback ends]
Mario: Nope sorry for your loss
Penguin: If I ever find the kidnapper he better have life insurance
[Scene cuts to Mario back in Bowser's lair]
Bowser: Whatever it is no!
Mario: I was going to ask if you wanted ice cream
[Scene cuts to Mario by the Big Bully in Lethal Lava Land]
Bully: HMMHMM
[The Bully knocks Mario off of the platform]
Mario: What the hell is that language?
[Scene cuts to Mario by the Chain Chomp in the battlefield]
Mario: Cmon Chomp you should know
Mario: I'll give you a Goomba to eat if you tell me
[Scene cuts to Mario back in the castle main room]
Mario: Uhhh Toad I think the chain chomp bit something off
Toad: Lets see the damages
[Mario is shown missing his head]
Toad: WOW!! Uhh...
Mario: Am I okay?
Toad: Yeah you can bearly see it...
Mario: Oh thats good
Mario: Well Toad no one knows
Mario: And I came to a conclusion... I'm clueless
Toad: Good Mario that means the blooper is over!
[Scene cuts to an image of Mario as the message "Thanks for watching?" appears]
Lakitu: Fail!
[Scene cuts back to the castle main room]
Mario: No! The blooper isn't over! I'm just stuck
Toad: Dammit!
Viewers: YAY!
Mario: Ok anyway nobody knows about the hand in the sky
???: I DO
Mario: Who said that?
Strategy Guide: Its me the strategy guide anyway I know who he is and how to get to him
Mario: Whos who is?
Strategy Guide: ....the hand! Anyway you need to get into a cannon
Mario: Which one?
Strategy Guide: The one in Fahr Outpost
Toad: Where's that?
Mario: Oh no not THAT cannon
Mario: Ok lets go to Fahr Outpost!
Mario: Wait how do I get there
Strategy Guide: Just go to Cool, Cool Mountain and talk to the Bob-omb Buddy!
Mario: Yes sir!... Or book!
[Mario goes into a room in the castle and enters the painting]
[Scene cuts to Mario on a lift in Cool, Cool Mountain]
Mario: Ok he should be here
Mario: Hey Bob-omb
Mario: Uhh I want to go in the "cannon"
Bob-omb Buddy: Ohh ok come this way Mario
[Scene cuts to the Grande Boom cannon rising from the ground in Fahr Outpost]
Mario: Uhhh is this safe?
Bob-omb #1: Yeah sure it is... if you have life insurance
Bob-omb #2: Ok now aim randomly in the sky
[The Bob-ombs aim the cannon]
Bob-omb #2: Steady...
Bob-omb #2: These controls are too complicated just shoot him randomly!
[The cannon chamber hatch opens]
Bob-omb #1: Load the gun powder!
[Hundreds of Bob-ombs enter the cannon]
Bob-omb #3: This feels really weird
Bob-omb #2: Close the damn door!
Bob-ombs: Owch! Your foot is in my face, get your butt off me, did someone fart?
[The chamber hatch closes]
Bob-omb #1: Ok people get ready... I wish we were shooting Mario to kill him
Bob-omb #1: OK people.... FIRE THE DAMN CANNON
Cannon: (Fires) KABOOM! KABOOM, KABOOM
[Mario is fired into the sky]
Mario: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!
[Bob-ombs parachute down from the sky]
Bob-ombs: WEEEEEE!
Bob-ombs: Its raining Bob-ombs!
Bob-omb #1: I hate you Mario
Mario: I'M A BIRD!
[A few hours later]
Mario: Hey look is that Lefty?!
[Scene cuts to Mario and Master Hand at Final Destination]
Mario: LEFTY!
Master Hand: I'm not Lefty anymore Mario I'm now MASTER HAND!
Mario: Thats great now get back on my arm
Master Hand: NEVER! Your arm is way to fat for me to fit on!
Mario: Then I'll just kill you
[Mario attacks Master Hand repeatedly]
Mario: Cmon come to papa you hand
[Master Hand attacks Mario]
Mario: Even my body parts hate me all of them!
[Master Hand fires projectiles at Mario]
Mario: Ow what this suppose to be? A finger gun?
Master Hand: Can you stop commenting every three seconds!
Mario: No!
[Master Hand launches himself upward]
Mario: Cool! Your farting!
[Master Hand lands and hits Mario]
Mario: Don't poke me!
Master Hand: Shut up and fight!
[Master Hand slaps Mario]
Master Hand: Ahh Mario are you dead?
Mario: Nah not really, if I was then the whole world would be happy
[Master Hand tries to punch Mario but misses]
Mario: WOW! You have small knuckles
Mario: I wish I was a hand then I could kill people with my fingers
Mario: Are you God?
Master Hand: If I was then I could just kill you right now
[Master Hand "walks" to attack Mario]
Mario: Help he has legs!
[Mario punches Master Hand, who punches back]
Master Hand: Facepunch!
Mario: Nearlly dead!
[Master Hand launches up and hits Mario again]
Mario: HES FARTING!
[Mario depletes Master Hand's health, defeating him]
Mario: YAHOOOOOO!
Mario: WEEEEE!
Master Hand: URGRAWWWWWWR
[Scene cuts to Mario outside the castle with both hands]
Mario: Well what a happy ending
Mario: Isn't that right Lefty
Master Hand: Shut up
[Scene cuts to Mario fighting three Master Hands as "THANKS FOR WATCHING!" appears]
Mario: My face!
End of transcript