Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Losing Your N64/Transcript

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This page is the transcript for Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Losing Your N64.

Transcript

	[Scene cuts to the SM64 title screen with "bloopers" below it]
Mario	It's-a me, Mario!
	[Mario enters a room in the castle]
Mario	Luigi! Where are you?
Mario	Luigi what are you doing here?
Luigi	Oh hi Mario I was just playing Super Smash Bros.
Mario	That old game? Why don't you play Super Smash Bros Brawl
Luigi	Because this game is a classic
Mario	Well does Super Smash Bros. have smash balls, more charachters and fun?
Luigi	................
Luigi	Yes if Nintendo thought of those ideas 10 years earlier
	[Super Smash Bros. gameplay is shown on a screen]
Mario	You suck at this game
Mario	And the screen is too small
Luigi	Well at least I'm not fat Italian who nags about the TV
Mario	Hey can I play?
Luigi	... Fine just don't nag
Luigi	Just let me get another controller
	[Luigi leaves the room]
Mario	Luigi has a nice Nintendo 64
Mario	I heard something on the internet call cartridge tilting
Mario	Ok it went a little something like this
	[Mario tilts the N64, the screen turns to static]
Mario	..... That didn't sound good
Mario	Ohhhhhh dear Luigi is going to rage
	[Luigi enters the room]
Luigi	Ok Mario I got the- WHAT THE?....
Luigi	WHAT HAPPENED TO MY NINTENDO 64?
Mario	It's not what it looks like!
Luigi	What do you mean? The screen is all grainy!
Luigi	You better not have broken my N64 I was going to play Super Mario 64!!!!
Mario	Don't worry you just need to turn it on and off
Mario	(flick off and flick on)
N64 Screen	error booting system don't panic or I will kill you
Mario	Uh-oh....
Mario	Luigi are you ok?
Mario	Luigi? Luigi? Luigi? Luigi?
	[Luigi explodes from anger]
Luigi	YOU BROKE MY NINTENDO 64!!!!!!!
Luigi	I PAID $9000!!!! FOR THAT!!!!!!!!
Luigi	AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
	[Luigi runs in circles and jumps into a wall]
Luigi	RAAAAGGGGEEE!
	[Luigi explodes again]
Luigi	Mario! You have to go buy me another N64!!!!
Mario	But they don't sell them anymore
Luigi	I DON'T CARE JUST GET IT TO ME BY TOMORROW
Mario	Tomorrow?! Fine! But I get to play it after
	[Mario exits to the castle main room]
Mario	Stupid Luigi and his gay love for games
Mario	Those things are like 1990s
Mario	Hey Toad do you have a Nintendo 64?
Toad	Aren't those things like old skool, you should get an Xbox 360
Mario	Yeah but Luigi is going to kill me if I don't get a N64!
Toad	Ok who here would have been here since the N64 was made?
	[Mario is shown at Bowser's Lair]
Mario	Bowser you look old, do you own a N64?
Bowser	No, do you?
Mario	I sold mine for rocks want to see them?
Bowser	No
Mario	EBAY! They always.... No they always scam me
	[Mario is back in the castle main room]
Mario	Ok I know you have it!
Mario	Don't give me the silent treatment!
Lakitu	Mario why are you talking to the wall?
Mario	Well the wall... I don't know
Mario	Why don't you ever help me
	[Mario is shown at Cool, Cool Mountain holding a baby penguin over the edge]
Mario	Ok tell me where the N64 is! Or the baby gets it
Penguin	WAIT I KNOW JUST DON'T DROP MY BABY
	[Mario accidentally drops the baby penguin off the edge]
Mario	Oops... Uhh I think my hands slipped
Penguin	WHAT?! OH YOU ARE DEAD!
Mario	You didn't see anything
	[Mario jumps off the edge, then is shown exercising in the castle]
Luigi	Mario what are you doing?
Mario	Trying to exerscise me to death
Luigi	Even if your dead you still owe me a N64
Mario	Oww so I did this for an hour for nothing!?
	[Mario is shown outside the castle]
Mario	Peach! Do you have a N64
Peach	No but I have a SNES
	[Mario picks up Peach]
Mario	SNES how old are you?
	[Mario throws Peach into the sky]
Mario	Haha thats right
	[Peach explodes in midair]
Mario	Anyone else?
	[Mario is shown in the castle talking to a clone of himself]
Mario	Mario you own a N64 right?
Clone Mario	Sorry I broke my brothers and I need to find one
Mario	Yeah I know right brothers these days
	[Mario goes over to Toad]
Mario	Toad N64 are old! No one uses them anymore only emulators
Toad	Maybe Nintendo still has one
Mario	But where the hell is Nintendo.co
Toad	I think Japan but maybe there is another way there?
Mario	Maybe Luigi knows
Luigi	No I don't!
Mario	Then there's only one person to talk to
Mario	He has the knowledge of everything
	[Mario is shown on a tower looking up at the sky]
Mario	Hello God? Can you here me?
God	Yes Mario what do you want?
Mario	Well I need to go to Nintendo co but I don't have a clue where it is
God	Well there is a way
God	There is a pipe outside of the castle
God	You must go in it to get to Nintendo
Mario	Yes God
	[Mario jumps off the tower and falls into the lake outside of the castle]
Mario	Ok now a pipe somewhere
Mario	Pipe, pipe hmmm
	[Mario sees the pipe]
Mario	Bingo!
Mario	This looks like the pipe I used to get here
Mario	Meh letsa go
	[Mario backflips into the pipe and is ejected out at Nintendo]
Mario	Weeee!!!!
	[Mario turns around and is shown to have an N64 logo on his hat]
Mario	Wow! This is Nintendo alright
	[The camera shows Nintendo as a castle covered in Nintendo logos]
Mario	And I think they expressed it too much
Mario	Hmm this place reminds me of the castle
	[Mario enters Nintendo]
Mario	Wow thats cool
Mario	Thought too much Nintendo
Mario	Hi Toad or someone
Receptionist Toad	I am the receptionist
Mario	Ok... Can I see the boss of Nintendo
Receptionist Toad	Do you have a appointment with him?
Mario	Uhhh yesssss
Receptionist Toad	Then go into the sliding door
Mario	Ok here I go
	[Mario enters the room]
Boss	Yes? What do you want?
Mario	Uhh I need a Nintendo 64
Boss	You should exercise instead of playing games fatty
Mario	Hey! At least I don't spend my life making games
Boss	... Anyway we don't have anymore N64s
Mario	What?! You sold all of them?!
Boss	Yep all 1033357245331455627322463442373235636462315 of them
Mario	O_O Wow
Boss	Now be gone with you fatman
Mario	Fine but you will regret it!
	[Mario exits to the outside of Nintendo]
Mario	Ok if they don't let me have a N64 then they're going to get it
	[Mario releases a Bob-omb]
Mario	Its a good thing I had this spare explosive in my pocket
Mario	Bomb voyage or whatever!!
	[Mario blows up Nintendo and warps back to the castle]
Mario	Hahaha take that Nintendo
Mario	But still no N64
	[Mario enters the castle]
Toad	Hey Mario where were you?
Mario	Oh I blew up Nintendo
Toad	WHAT?! If you did that then we wouldn't exist anymore
Mario	Your crazy
Mario	What's Luigi doing?
	[Mario enters the room that Luigi is in]
Mario	Luigi what-...
Mario	Is that what I think it is?
	[The screen now shows Super Mario 64 gameplay]
Mario	You got the N64 working again?
Luigi	No I went through time back to 1990 to get one
Mario	Dammit why didn't I think of that
Mario	So what are you playing now?
Luigi	I'm playing Super Mario 64
Mario	That game it sucks they should make movies out of them
Lakitu	What an idiot
Screen Text	THANKS FOR WATCHING
Mario	Is Luigi here?... Good
Mario	I have a GameShark
Mario	So the thing goes on the GameShark and it goes in here
Mario	And what do I get?
	[Scene cuts to darkness as the N64 explodes]
	End of transcript