| “ |
...and if you failed at all the rules then you fail! |
” |
| —Mario insisting the viewers follow his guide correctly | ||
Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Mario's Guide to Defeating Bowser is the fifth episode to be uploaded by SMG4.
This episode was aired on June 11, 2011.
Synopsis
Mario shows you how to defeat Bowser.
Plot
Mario introduces everyone to the guide, calling Bowser "that dragon", and he tells the viewer to find a pen and paper, and, assuming they currently have one, to put down the presumed cookie they're holding before doing so. Mario then starts his guide presuming the viewer has done this.
Rule #1: Know Bowser's weaknesses
In front of the castle, Mario tells everyone the first rule about Bowser's weaknesses in that he hates Justin Bieber, and visits Bowser in the Sky to demonstrate the method. Mario plays the chorus of "Baby" and Bowser presumably jumps off the platform of the level immediately upon hearing it, which Mario then laughs at.
Rule #2: Try to make a relationship between you and Bowser
Mario tells everyone the second rule and gives them a tip that loners are unable to do it. He vists Bowser in the Sky again and asks Bowser if he wants to be his friend, and Bowser replies that he wouldn't want to even if his main line was "yes" in the current blooper. Mario makes a second attempt by telling Bowser a knock-knock joke, only for it to fall flat because he forgot the punchline, an issue which Bowser groans about annoyed. Mario then tries a "What's X, Y, and Z?" type of joke formatted as "What's big, fat, and is always angry?" Bowser assumes Mario is referring to himself, and Mario tells him that it's "some weird dragon called Bowser". Realizing Mario just insulted Bowser, the latter asks the former to repeat himself.
Rule #3: Never touch Bowser's tail, it's poisonous
Mario tells everyone the third rule, and clarifies what he just told everyone by describing it as "scaley and oiley and deadly". In Bowser in the Dark World, Mario attempts to throw Bowser from the tail from behind and ends up dying as a result. Before describing the fourth rule, Mario expresses his disgust.
Rule #4: Try to distract Bowser
Mario tells everyone the fourth rule, and then asks if someone can get him a doggy bag due to touching Bowser's tail in the previous segment. In Bowser in the Dark World, Mario tells Bowser that he can see Peach, temporarily distracting Bowser and allowing Mario to get behind him and grab onto his tail, remarking Bowser's weight.
Rule #5: Always have a disguise!
Mario tells everyone the fifth rule, advising against using "one of those gay mustache disguises like he has", and visits Bowser in the Dark World again as a sign. Mario casually whistles and asks if that sign was there originally, and Mario, in the form of a sign, turns to Bowser and asks what he's looking at as Bowser continues to stare at him as a sign.
Rule #6: Bowser is a hacker!
Telling the sixth rule, Mario exposes Bowser as a hacker and a cheater and retaliates against him by doing the same thing to him. During Bowser in the Sky, Bowser is a giant. Mario tries to escape the platform with his own personal hacks by jumping enough to hover in order to escape Bowser, and then falling off upon reaching the limit.
Rule #7: Bribe!
Telling everyone the seventh rule, Mario follows on that Bowser will drop dead after giving him coins. In Bowser in the Sky in a parody of a secret alley meeting, Mario gives Bowser some money as requested. After Bowser has left with said money, Mario reveals he actually gave him Monopoly money.
Rule #8: Always dance before you die
Telling everyone the eight rule, Mario follows that the player should dance even when their death is guaranteed. In Bowser in the Sky, Mario does as expected and dances as Bowser is knocking into him and throwing down dust that hits Mario. Bowser tells himself that Mario finally cracked and for Mario to keep dancing, making an innuendous move at the end, which Mario comments on by asking the audience if that last part looked "a little weird" to them.
Rule #9: Try to make Bowser drunk
Moving on, Mario tells everyone the ninth rule, telling everyone that they should give him beer so he is unfocused. In Bowser in the Sky again, Mario bluntly asks Bowser if he wants to have some beer. Bowser tells Mario that he doesn't drink, and Mario replies by telling Bowser that he always looks like he's hungover. Mario attempts to urge the offer again by telling Bowser that it has water in it.
Rule #10: Ragequit
Mario advises that the last rule is for people who are too lazy for the rest, informing everyone to copy him. In Bowser in the Sky, Mario simply makes a direct head-to-head run towards Bowser as he claims it to be in honor of Sparta, causing a huge explosion.
Mario tells the audience that he hopes they manage to kill Bowser, and that they fail if they failed to follow each rule beforehand, and then telling people trolling the video leave. Bowser is heard shouting about Mario having created a video about defeating him, and Mario proceeds to escape after thanking everyone for watching, and then returning back to tell everyone to rate, comment and laugh, and then leaves running in the same direction again.
Characters
Main characters
Mentioned
Trivia
- Bowser exhibits certain differences in this video compared to future ones:
- Bowser is shown to hate Justin Bieber, but he obsessively loves him in future videos.
- Bowser hacks himself in this video, which he does not do again in any future videos.
- Bowser's tail is poisonous, a trait he is not shown to have in any future videos.
- This is the first time that Mario talks directly to the viewer.
- This episode is currently SMG4's third least popular video.
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