Episode Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
This is the transcript for Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Mario at the Olympic Games by SMG4.
| [Scene cuts to a news broadcast outside the castle] | |
| News Reporter | Welcome to Mushroom Kingdom News |
| Lakitu | Uhh wrong way |
| [The reporter turns around to face the camera] | |
| News Reporter | I knew that! Anyway you heard what I said |
| News Reporter | We have exciting news for all you low lifes! |
| News Reporter | The Olympic Games has come to the Mushroom Kingdom |
| News Reporter | And I didn't even know that was possible! |
| News Reporter | Anyway they are accepting athletes and other people who want to fail |
| News Reporter | And the prize is 10000 coins... Whats the point no one watches news anymore |
| [Scene cuts to the SM64 title screen with "bloopers" below it] | |
| [Scene cuts to Mario in the castle] | |
| Mario | HAHAHA!!!! |
| Lakitu | Hey Mario have you seen the news? |
| Mario | Oh I'm seeing it alright! |
| [The news broadcast shows Rabbids attacking Paris] | |
| Mario | HAHAHA! Funny news reporter |
| Lakitu | That wasn't the kind of news I'm talking about |
| Lakitu | The Mushroom Kingdom News said the Olympic Games are coming to here! |
| Lakitu | And I want you to enter the Olympics! |
| Mario | What!? Why me? |
| Lakitu | Cause I want to win that 10000$ prize! |
| Mario | But I'm unfit and fat and I don't know anything about the Olympics |
| Lakitu | Thats why I'm going to teach and train you! |
| [A mysterious man resembling some other characters appears on the stairs] | |
| Lakitu | Cmon I'll teach you about the Olympics |
| [Mario and Lakitu read about the Olympics] | |
| Mario | Lakitu can I have a break, I've been reading about the Olympic history for 3 hrs |
| Lakitu | No! You must learn! You have 300 more books to go! |
| Mario | And why are you wearing glasses? |
| Lakitu | I look sexy don't I? |
| [Mario and Lakitu go back to the castle] | |
| Lakitu | Ok after our 2 week 5 days 6 hours and 4 minutes |
| Lakitu | Of studying Olympic history without any sleep |
| Lakitu | We are going to do a little quiz |
| Lakitu | Ok first question, when was the first Olympic Games |
| [Mario is sleep-deprived and has bloodshot eyes] | |
| Mario | Uhhhhh |
| Lakitu | Cmon! |
| [Mario begins sleeping] | |
| Lakitu | Maybe I should do this with a diffrent angle |
| Lakitu | Ok Mario I want you to calm down and breathe in and out |
| Lakitu | Think of ponies and lollipops |
| Mario | Feels like Buddha |
| Mario | I hope the sugar doesn't kick in |
| Lakitu | Ok now close your eyes |
| Lakitu | And think what the Olympic Games would look like |
| [Mario closes his eyes] | |
| Mario | Olympic Games.... Olympic Games............ |
| [Mario envisions the Olympic Games, seeing himself getting eaten by a Chain Chomp, falling off a minecart track, getting devoured by Boos, and being chased by an evil mushroom] | |
| Mario | Help! Mushrooms want their revenge! |
| Screen Text | Many visions of the Olympic Games later |
| Mario | (screaming) |
| [Lakitu goes back outside from the castle] | |
| Lakitu | Mario had to shove that spicy pasta down my throat |
| Lakitu | I wouldn't go in there if I was you |
| Lakitu | Anyway Mario are you done dreaming? |
| [Mario is naked and running upside down in circles] | |
| Mario | (screaming) |
| Lakitu | Uhh Mario? |
| Lakitu | Mario! What are ahahahahaing about? |
| Mario | I dreamt about the Olympic Games torturing me... They could be watching me right now!..... On YouTube! |
| Lakitu | What? Thats crazy! Who told you that? |
| Toad | Oh dear... |
| [Toad slowly walks away] | |
| Lakitu | Anyway they were lieing its just fun and games |
| Lakitu | Whoever told you that must have been drunk |
| [Scene cuts to Toad inside the castle] | |
| Toad | Why are you guys looking at me for? |
| [Scene cuts back outside] | |
| Lakitu | Lets just exercise and train you for the Olympics |
| Mario | Yeah ok lets go train! |
| [Mario runs around a room in the castle as Lakitu watches] | |
| Mario | Huff, puff |
| Mario | Am I done? |
| Lakitu | No you still have another 50 laps to go! |
| Mario | Mamaf***er! |
| [Mario swings Bowser around in circles] | |
| Lakitu | Cmon build those muscles! |
| Mario | Why do I get a big fat Asian dumbell! |
| Bowser | Asian? |
| [Mario holds on to an owl as it flies] | |
| Mario | I can't hold on! |
| Lakitu | Hold it! Hold IT! |
| Mario | Hold on as in bathroom hold on! |
| [Mario lifts and carries King Bob-omb, a penguin, Koopa the Quick, and Dorrie] | |
| Mario | Ok! Too heavy!!! |
| Mario | How do you expect me to hold this! |
| Lakitu | By holding it duh |
| [Mario lifts and carries Lakitu back at the castle] | |
| Mario | Ok thats it I held people long enough! |
| [Mario puts Lakitu down] | |
| Lakitu | Good because thats enough training |
| Screen Text | Hours later |
| [Scene cuts to Lakitu by a pipe] | |
| Lakitu | Anybody?... |
| Lakitu | Good |
| [Lakitu enters the pipe and comes out at the Olympic Castle] | |
| Lakitu | Yep this is it |
| Lakitu | The Olympic Castle |
| Lakitu | Hello I came to register an athlete |
| [Lakitu is shown to be talking to the mysterious man, who happens to be an Olympic official] | |
| Olympic Official | Ok please tell me a description of him and supply a picture of him |
| Lakitu |
Name: Mario Weight: 300 kilos IQ: 1% Fat and very unfit |
| Lakitu | I couldn't find a good picture so here's the best one I could find |
| [Lakitu shows a picture of Mario with crossed eyes] | |
| Mario | It's-a me, Mario! |
| Olympic Official | Ok Mario has been registered as an athlete |
| Olympic Official | And what do you know, the Olympic Games are tomorrow |
| Screen Text | The next day (Olympic Games) |
| [Mario is sleeping at the castle when he is woken up by a loud noise] | |
| Mario | Wow what the hell? |
| Lakitu | Rise and shine! |
| Lakitu | Get up we are going to be late for the Olympics! |
| Mario | The Olympics was real? I thought you just made me exerscise |
| Lakitu | Its real now come on! We need to get ready! |
| Mario | Fine but it better be worth it for breaking my dream about losing the Olympic Games |
| [Scene cuts to another news broadcast outside the castle] | |
| News Reporter | THIS IS THE NEWS AND THE OLYMPIC GAMES ARE TODAY! |
| News Reporter | I'M SOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED! |
| News Reporter | I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE! |
| [The News Reporter explodes as the camera zooms in on the Olympic arena] | |
| Olympic Official | And now to introduce you to our contestants |
| Olympic Official | Though no one watches tv so there's only 4 |
| [Cutscene with Mario shown] | |
| Olympic Official | This guy |
| [Cutscene with Luigi shown] | |
| Olympic Official | And this hobo looking chap |
| [Cutscene with Wario and Waluigi shown] | |
| Olympic Official | And miscellaneous |
| [Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Yoshi [for some reason] appear at the arena] | |
| Koopa | Welcome to the Olympic Games you future failures |
| Koopa | Hey where's Waluigi? |
| Mario | Bladder problems |
| Koopa | Ok now lets go to our first sport |
| [The contestants and the Koopa arrive at Bob-omb Battlefield] | |
| Koopa | Ok now for this we just run all the way up to the summit |
| Koopa | Every one ready? |
| Mario | Ready... Hey where did every one go? |
| Koopa | Uhh I think they already started |
| Luigi, Wario, Waluigi | See ya Mario!!! |
| [Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi all run to the summit] | |
| Mario | Hey wait for me! |
| Mario | Huff, puff so tired |
| Screen Text | Hours later |
| Mario | Almost there... |
| Mario | How far did I go anyway? |
| [Mario turns to see that he has barely moved from the start] | |
| Koopa | Don't worry your getting close |
| Mario | Mamaf***er! |
| [Wario reaches the summit] | |
| Wario | I WIN! YES! |
| Wario | Go fatman! |
| [Lakitu watches from the castle] | |
| Lakitu | NOOOOOO!... Don't worry Lakitu, there's still alot of the game to go |
| [Scene cuts back to Bob-omb Battlefield] | |
| Mario | How come the fattest guy won the running race? |
| [The contestants go to Jolly Roger Bay] | |
| Olympic Official | Ok the next part is a swimming race, everyone must swim to the other side of the bay |
| Olympic Official | Everybody clear with that? |
| Wario | Yep |
| Waluigi | Yes |
| Luigi | Bring it on! |
| Mario | Banana |
| Olympic Official | Ok on your marks |
| Olympic Official | Get set |
| Olympic Official | GO! SLOWMOS GO! |
| [The contestants begin swimming] | |
| Waluigi | Just keep swimming, just keep swimming |
| Luigi | Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows- |
| Wario | Yuck! Did Mario pee in this water |
| Olympic Official | Hey where's Mario? |
| [Mario is drowning] | |
| Mario | Help! I can't swim! |
| Lakitu | Cmon what are you doing!!!!... Maybe if I encourage him |
| Lakitu | Go Mario go! WE HAVE HOPE MARIO!!!!! |
| [Mario continues drowning] | |
| Lakitu | (facepalm) |
| [Waluigi reaches the other side] | |
| Waluigi | Yes! I won! |
| Olympic Official | Looks like Waluigi is the winner of this round, lets go to the next |
| Screen Text | Many more fails for Mario later |
| [Mario kicks a Thwomp and falls off a tower, accidentally jumps into a pit, gets eaten by a giant fish, gets burned by fire, and falls after his balloon is popped] | |
| Lakitu | (tears piece of paper up) |
| [Mario gets trapped in a cage and kicked off the stage by the Koopa Kid] | |
| Lakitu | (repeatedly bangs head on wall) |
| Screen Text | Well you can probabley guess what happens through out the whole Olympic Games |
| Announcer | You failed! |
| Olympic Official | Well folks we have come down to our last event, but first lets check our scores |
| Olympic Official | Amazingly Wario, Luigi and Waluigi are on 99 points |
| Olympic Official | And... Well Mario is on 0... (chuckles) |
| Olympic Official | But there is hope for Mario, 100 points will be given to the person who wins this event |
| Olympic Official | So lets go live to someplace that doesn't exist in real life |
| [The official and the contestants are in a room in the castle] | |
| Olympic Official | Ok men, even if this is the last event, you still got to focus |
| Olympic Official | Ok we're doing long jump as our last, you must jump as far as you can |
| Olympic Official | Anyone can win the Olympics now even Mario so lets go! |
| Luigi | Ok I go first then |
| [Luigi jumps very far] | |
| Luigi | Haha can you beat that! |
| [Wario jumps] | |
| Wario | Did I beat Luigi? |
| Luigi | No you didn't |
| [Waluigi jumps] | |
| Waluigi | Did I win? |
| Luigi | Nope just behind Wario |
| Mario | Ok now its my turn |
| Mario | But first I warm up |
| [Mario warms up] | |
| Olympic Official | OH SKIP IT! |
| Mario | Ok here I go... for Lakitu! |
| [Mario runs and jumps in slow motion, the "Chariots of Fire" theme plays] | |
| Luigi | Wow I never knew it took this long to jump |
| Lakitu | Cmon Mario... |
| Lakitu | Hurry up! I need to go to the bathroom!!! |
| [Mario lands a very short distance from the start] | |
| Olympic Official | Looks like Mario fell short or long of the other contestants, lets look at their distance |
| Olympic Official |
Luigi: 20 meters Wario: 15 meters Waluigi: 10 meters Mario: 1 cm |
| Mario | Mamaf***er! |
| Olympic Official | LUIGI IS THE WINNER! LETS GO TO THE CEREMONY!!!!!!! |
| [The ceremony shows Luigi, Wario, and Peach (in place of Waluigi) driving up to the castle and being placed on pedestals as a trophy descends toward Luigi] | |
| Mario | Well... At least I had fun... |
| Mario | WOW! Watch out! |
| [Lakitu stares at the screen] | |
| Mario | Why is he still standing there?? |
| [Lakitu's face is distorted and angry] | |
| Mario | Just walk slowly past him... |
| Mario | AHHHHHHHHHHHH! |
| [Mario runs away from Lakitu] | |
| Screen Text | THANKS FOR WATCHING!!! |
| Lakitu | gsdhZHzdhsjtdf |
| [Luigi enters the room] | |
| Luigi | Yahoooo! I won the Olympics!!! |
| Luigi | And I got a trophey and 10000 coins!!!! |
| [Lakitu turns to look at Luigi, who is dancing] | |
| Luigi | YEAH! DO DAT SEXY DANCE!!! |
| [Lakitu runs at Luigi, who is unaware of the impending danger] | |
| Luigi | GO! ME! |
| Luigi | Hey look there's some cheese here |
| [Lakitu angrily crashes into Luigi] | |
| Luigi | Ow... |
| End of transcript |