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| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
This is the transcript for Super Mario 64 Bloopers: My Best Friend Slenderman.
Mario has to buy toilet paper[]
(Intro plays)
(It is night time. Footsteps are heard.)
(Mario is sleeping in one of the castle rooms. The door mysteriously opens.)
Mario: (Wakes up) ...hello?... who's there....?
Mario: don't hurt me!
???: mario...
Mario: AHHHHH!
Mario: (Pulls out a rocket launcher) STAY BACK!! i'M WARNING YOU!!!
(Intruder is revealed to be Toad)
Toad: NO MARIO! IT'S ME!!!
(Mario shoots Toad anyway)
Mario: ....crap...
(Scene is non-canon; scene is replayed)
Toad: NO MARIO! IT'S ME!!!
Mario: toad?! what are you doing up in the middle of the night?
Toad: I need you to go buy something we're all out of toilet paper.
Mario: what?! why can't you go get it?
Toad: cause you blew up my kart.
(Flashback of Mario destroying Toad's kart in Mario Kart)
Mario: you threw a banana at me!!!
Toad: who cares! you broke it!!!
Toad: and besides... they're monsters outside ;_;...
(Notch is shown outside the castle)
(Back at the castle)
Mario: err.... what do you mean? there are no monsters!
Toad: PLEASE?
Mario: *sigh*...ok fine...
Mario: but eat any spaghetti, you die.
Meeting Slenderman[]
(Mario is outside the castle. Eerie music is playing.)
Mario: crap...it sure is dark...
Mario: better take a car...
(Mario finds a random guy's car)
Mario: ah yes there it is!
Guy: ahh better lock up the car... (Mario punches him out of the way)
Mario: :D now I have a car!
(Mario is inside the car)
Mario: :D here we go!
(Mario crashes)
Mario: ... (crawls out)
(Car owner appears)
Mario: hey thanks for the car!
(Mario starts moving by foot)
Mario: damn it! it's so dark...
(Finds a sign)
Mario: hey what does this say?
(The sign points "the abandon forest" to the right. It points "gay castle" to the left.)
Mario: aha! the forest is a shortcut!!!
(Finds another sign on a fence)
Mario: oh crap what's this?
(DO NOT ENTER dangerous crap going on ^3^)
Mario: that means it's a shortcut! (Jumps over the fence)
Mario: hello?...anyone there?
Mario: wario? you're not here naked are you?
Mario: it's so fricken dark!
Mario: ....I have a feeling someone is watching me... (Notch appears behind one of the trees)
(Mario hears a sound. Mario looks around.)
Mario: ...weird I thought I heard- (Spots Slenderman)
Mario: HOLY LUIGI CRAP
(The two stare at each other for a while)
Mario: ..-_- ok then... (Walks away, but Slenderman follows him)
Mario: what the!? stop following me! (Runs away)
(Notch appears above Slenderman)
Mario: he's...still behind me...
Mario: (turns around) ARE YOU GAY? YOU WANT A KISS!? STOP FOLLOWING ME!
(Mario turns around, then back to see Slenderman closer to him)
Mario: hmm... he gets closer :O
Mario: so he wants to play a game huh?
Mario: Red light! (Turns around) Green light. (Turns around; Slenderman gets closer) Red light! (Turns around) Green light. (Turns around; Slenderman gets closer) Red light! Ah, oh you're cheating!
Mario: haha! can't move when I'm watching you (backs away while still looking at Slendeman)
Mario: that's right stay there!
Mario: yeah keep away from me (Bumps into Slenderman and gasps)
Mario: LOOK! JUST GO AWAY PLEASE!
Mario: WHAT DO YOU WANT? 20 DOLLARS?
(Slenderman stares at Mario, then looks away sadly)
Mario: oh n-no! don't be sad D: I didn't mean to upset you!
Mario: do you have a place to stay fella?
(Slenderman shakes his head)
Mario: :D WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO!?
Mario: cmon! you can sleep at my place! (Runs away)
(Slenderman slides after him)
Slenderman's arrival[]
(Mario and Slenderman arrive near the castle)
Mario: :D I'm gonna call you slenderman!
Mario: (Spots Luigi) hey! it's luigi!
Luigi: ???
Mario: Luigi!
Luigi: WAH! mario! don't scare me like that
Mario: luigi meet my new friend slenderman
Luigi: SLENDERMAN?! (Runs away and jumps into the moat of the castle)
Mario: ....what's wrong with him?
Mario: cmon slendy let's go!
(Mario and Slenderman enter the castle)
Mario: TOAD TOAD! I'm back!
Toad: did you bring the toilet paper?
Mario: no I brought something better!
Slenderman: whats up
(Toad screams and crashes out of the walls)
Mario: why is everyone acting weird tonight?
Mario: don't worry slenderman, I know someone who won't go crazy!
(Mario opens the door to SMG4's room)
Mario: hey smg4!
SMG4: oh hi mario, who's your friend?
Mario: oh that's slenderman
SMG4: I see....
(SMG4 jumps out of the hole in the wall Toad made)
Toad: :D hi smg4
SMG4: shut up toad
(Starman3 enters the castle)
Starman3: wow! what's happening here?
Mario: toad and smg4 flew out the window
Starman3: (Spots Slenderman) WTF is that thing?!
Mario: what do you mean?! (Looks behind him and finds Luigi)
Mario: it's just luigi
Luigi: hey! shut up!
Starman3: no that tall black white man!
Mario: that's slenderman
Starman3: slenderman!? do you know who he is?!
Mario: .....a lawyer?
Starman3: what?! no! he eats little children and murders people
(Mario sees Slenderman jumping over a dead body)
Mario: he's not! he's a innocent man I found in the forest!
Mario: can he please stay! I'll clean up any mess he makes!
Starman3: *sigh* OK FINE HE CAN STAY!!!
(Mario and Slenderman start dancing)
Starman3: BUT!!!!!!!
Starman3: if ANYTHING goes wrong, his suited ass is going back to the forest!
Mario: whaaaat?? his ass is a suit?
Starman3: just go to bed!!! its 12 am!
SMG4's dream[]
(The scene starts off in the first person perspective of a unknown entity roaming the castle)
(The entity reaches SMG4 where he is sleeping)
SMG4: who... WHO ARE YOU?!
SMG4: WHAT DO YOU WANT? NOT MY 20 DOLLARS!!!!!
(SMG4 wakes up in bed)
SMG4: AHHH!!!.....it's just a dream...
SMG4: phew.... that was horrible...
SMG4: ugh...what time is it?
(SMG4 finds Mario next to him in bed)
Mario: zzz...6am...zzz..
SMG4: AHHHH! MARIO!!!! what are you doing in my bed?!
Mario: wat?! what happen?....oh hi smg4
Mario: I gave slenderman my bed so I slept in your bed :3
SMG4: wait... you don't have a bed!
SMG4: all you have is a bed frame!
SMG4: and slenderman is too dumb to work a bed!
Mario: what?! slenderman can to sleep in a bed !
(Cut to Slenderman T-posing with half his body sticking out of the bed frame)
Slenderman: Yeah!
(Cut to morning)
Starman3: good morning!
Starman3: is everyone alright?
Mario: yeah we're fine!
SMG4: mario crawled in my bed
(Luigi is seen crawling with n legs)
Luigi: HELP SOMEONE! HELP! SLENDERMAN TRIED TO EAT ME !!!!
Mario: shut up luigi! no one cares!
Mario: I'm gonna go hangout with slendy :D
Starman3: BE CAREFUL!
Playing with Slenderman[]
Mario: cmon slenderman! let's go play!
(Cut to Mario and Slenderman shoot themselves out of cannons)
(Cut to Mario sliding on snow. Slenderman tries to copy him but fails.)
Slenderman: ... WTF MAN!?
(Cut to both on a spinning platform)
(Cut to Mario pushing Slenderman off a wall)
(Cut to Mario and Slenderman standing around a fire with Mario dancing, then around Bowser, then around a panicking Luigi, then around Starman3.)
Getting Slenderman to fit in[]
(Later)
Mario: ahh it's been a great day! :D
(Random guy passes by)
Mario: hey! see my new friend?
Guy: Oh, no, NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (Runs away)
Mario: well you're nice!!!
Mario: why does everyone freak out when they see you?
Mario: is it cause your face is ugly?
(Slenderman shows a >:( on his face)
Mario: don't worry!!! the world hasn't seen the real slenderman!
Mario: you just need to show it!
Mario: ok slenderman let's try and do it!
Mario: ok you see that man over there?
(Enzo is shown)
Mario: go hug him! show the world how soft you are!
(Slenderman slides towards Enzo)
Enzo: alright see you later!
Enzo: now time for some...
Slenderman: I love you!
(Enzo panics and runs away)
Mario: ok? a bit too much love!
Mario: instead! why don't we show how loyal you are!
Mario: I got a genius plan!
(Cut to Mario hanging on the roof of the castle)
Mario: SOMEONE! HELP! I'm going to fall!
Random guy 1: someone do something!
Random guy 2: OMG!!!
Random guy 3: banana!
(Slenderman appears)
Slenderman: I:D
Random guy 4: hey! what's that guy doing?!
Random guy 5: he's going to push mario off!
(MarioMario54321 appears behind Slenderman)
MarioMario54321: oh no he doesn't!
Mario: no no no!!!
(MM pushes Slenderman off)
Mario: ....crap...
(Later)
Mario: sorry slenderman hehe...
(Slenderman has a >:( face)
Mario: maybe people hate you cause you're a hobo!
Mario: you live in the forest! maybe you need a job!
Applying for a job[]
Guy: you want a what?
Mario: a job!! for this dude over here!
Guy: ok then, what job are you looking for?
Mario: a good paying job in anything!
Mario: and not one of those crappy dead end jobs!
Guy: you mean like a plumber?
Mario: SHUT UP!
Guy: ok so do you have any experience with anything?
Mario: he can move without moving his legs does that count?
Guy: ...uhh no... do you ever drink?
Mario: he doesn't have a mouth dumbass!
Guy: has he ever murdered anyone?
Mario: no...why would you say that?
(Slenderman murders someone in the background)
Guy: oh nothing!
Guy: oh crap...
Mario: oh no... what's wrong..
Guy: I got a gameover (shows guy losing in Pacman)
Guy: oh look! here's a job!!!
Mario: what is it?!
Guy: pedohile!
Slenderman: (Pauses) WHAT THE FU-
(Building explodes)
Police chase[]
(Cut to Mario and Slenderman on the streets)
Mario: well this sucks...
Mario: sorry you couldn't get a job slenderman
(The police arrive)
Starman3: stop mario! slenderman is under arrest!
Mario: WHAT?! but slenderman did nothing wrong!
Starman3: yeah well people keep complaing that slenderman is going to eat them!
Mario: you'll never take him!
Mario: RUN SLENDERMAN!
Starman3: stop scratchin your nutz and go chase them
(The police chase after Mario and Slenderman)
(Mario and Slenderman hide behind a building)
Mario: phew! that was close!
Mario: they won't find us!
Starman3: (yelling) WE'RE GOING TO FIND YOU!
Mario: ok ok they're going to find us!
Mario: quick! into that car!
Cop: do you see them?
Starman3: (looks around) no I don't see them...
(Mario and Slenderman find an elevator)
Mario: quick! into this elevator!
(They get in with an old lady)
Mario: (to the old lady) how you doin?
(Cut to the top of the roof)
Mario: wow....
Mario: (looks over the top) we're screwed...
(Starman3 appears behind them)
Starman3: please mario stop! I don't want to hurt any of you!
Mario: aha! I got my secret weapon!
Mario: SLENDERCOPTER ACTIVATE!
(Slenderman starts spinning)
Starman3: ....wtf....
Mario: see you suckers! (Grabs on to Slenderman, but both fall)
Starman3: ...oh...
Aftermath[]
(Cut to in front of the castle)
SMG4: ....we are here today. for the death of good friends...
SMG4: and no one ever loved them...
Mario: hey who's dieing?
Mario: ahh screw that! (runs into the castle to meet Slenderman)
Mario: it was a good thing wario's parents broke our fall slenderman :D
Mario: I'll be right back slendy! (Runs into another room)
(Later)
Mario: ok back slenderman!
Mario: : O OMG NOOOO!! WHAT HAPPENED!?
(Finds Slenderman dead)
Mario: SLENDERMAN DIED D:
Mario: TOAD! did you forget to feed him!?
Toad: hey! he kept trieing to eat my head off!
Mario: nooooo....
Toad: what are you going to do with the body?
(Mario shoves Slenderman down the toilet)
Mario: I'm going to miss him D:
Toad: I'm sorry mario for forgetting to feed slenderman
Toad: so I went to the pet store and bought you another slenderman!
(Mario sees another Slenderman)
Mario: HOLY CRAP! thanks toad!
Mario: now we can have more fun slenderman!!!
Mario: we can play board games... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Mario: IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME RIGHT SLENDERMAN?
(Slenderman dies again)
Mario: Mamaf**ker!
[Game Over]
(Video ends)