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| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
This is the transcript for Super Mario 64 Bloopers: SwagQuest.
Scene 1[]
(Luigi is seen walking down the street)
Luigi: (Laughs)
(Luigi spots a poster)
Poster: awsome swag party!
Poster: @ peach's castle
Poster: must have swag! to be invited!
Luigi: I wonder what the guys are doing at the castle...
Luigi: Let's go! (Starts driving in his cart, but gets hit by a car)
Scene 2[]
(Luigi arrives at Peach's castle)
(Random sounds are heard inside)
Luigi: Huh? (Runs towards the castle)
(Lakitu, who is on the roof, spots Luigi with binoculars)
Lakitu: (Grabs a walkie-talkie) INCOMING!
(Door bell rings, and a crude drawing of Luigi with the word "INCOMING" is shown on the TV)
Mario: Wha?
(Bowser and a Bully are dancing on a table)
Mario: JUST SHUT THE F*CK UP!
Mario: (kicks a bob-omb out) Get the fuck out!
Mario: Mamaf**ker! (kicks away Link, who was lying on the floor)
(Mario starts pushing other people out)
(He starts panicking as he struggles to put his clothes on)
(Luigi enters the castle. Mario has his clothes on his head but are not wearing them.)
Mario: What's up?
Luigi: Uh... hi
Luigi: What was all that noise before?
Mario: What the fuck are you talking about?
Luigi: Hmm...
Mario: Hm hm
(Wario crashes into the castle behind Luigi)
Wario: Sweet rais partyyyyyyyyyyyy
Wario: Wahhh!! Wahhhhhhh
Wario: (Stares at Mario) You lied to me
Wario: (goes back out) Shit rais partyyyy
Luigi: Huh?
Mario: Uh I can explain
(Steve crashes into the castle from the ceiling)
Steve: PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
Scene 3[]
(The Mario brothers are outside the castle)
Luigi: (Punches Mario) What do you mean I'm not cool enough!?
Mario: This party is for the swaggiest of the swag!
Mario: And well... you're GAAAYYYY
Luigi: Wah? How much of this swag are you supposed to have?!
Mario: Well just look at Steve...
(Steve dances next to Mario while rapping)
(Luigi crys and runs away)
(The party continues)
Luigi: I'll show those guys... just watch...
Scene 4[]
(Luigi arrives at Bowser's lair)
Luigi: Please teach me your ways old wise one!
(Bowser laughs)
Bowser: So you want to learn the arts of how to sweg?!
Luigi: HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP
Bowser: But you must pay me the ultamite price!
Bowser: BUT YOU WILL NEVER GUESS IT!
(Luigi gives Bowser a Justin Bieber magazine)
Bowser: AHHHHH SH*T
(Transition to Bowser lecturing Luigi)
Bowser: You first must understand what swag is first.
Bowser: What is swag Luigi?
Luigi: Idiots trying to look cool
(Bowser stares in shock)
Bowser: Just for that. You must sit and stare at that gorgeous painting.
Luigi: Huh? (Looks at the picture of Bowser with "swag" in front of him)
Bowser: Find the true meaning to swag! See you tomorrow!
(Luigi stares at the painting. Romantic music starts playing.)
(Transition to the next day)
(Bowser enters his lair when he hears Luigi crying)
(Luigi is on the floor with the photo burning)
Scene 5[]
(Bowser and Luigi are in Luigi's house)
Bowser: We need to change those hideous clothes Luigi!
Luigi: But they match with Mario's clothes D:
Bowser: And that's why Mario is still a virgin.
Luigi: Mama mia... (Starts looking for clothes in his drawer)
(Luigi dresses in old-fashioned clothing)
Bowser: NOOOOOO!
(Luigi dresses in kid's clothing)
Bowser: It's not possible!
(Luigi dresses as an IRL person dressing as him with a bra)
Bowser: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
(Luigi changes one more time. He is outside this time.)
Bowser: FABULOUS!
(Luigi wears sunglasses, has a gold necklace, has a beard and long hair, and has a beanie with SWAG on it)
Bowser: Man you gonna get al the ladies with that...
Luigi: Can't breathe....
(An old guy passes through and hits Luigi's outfit off)
Old guy: Out of the way hippies!
Bowser: Get that motherf*cker!
Luigi: Nooo!!
Bowser: He just ruined your swag! You gonna take that Luigi?
Luigi: Oh yeah!
(Bowser roars and blows fire at Luigi, who screams and runs away)
(Luigi hits the old man)
Old guy: Hey who's there? What do you want hippie?
Luigi: (Looks between old guy and Bowser) You look ridiculous
Old guy: Say what?! I'm better than you two!
(Luigi laughs and pulls out his beanie)
Old guy: Are you copying you little bitch?
Luigi: Ohhh hell nooooo
(Luigi and the old guy get in a rap battle)
Announcer: Ready? Go!
Old guy: (Rap) So you think you can beat me hippie? I'm the only man with swag here!
Luigi: (Rap) It's not easy being dream but much is true, but I'm my own man I don't want number two!
Luigi: (Rap) All the girls want me they go crazy but my heart belongs to a Princess Daisy!
Luigi: (Rap) I'm the topic plumber that you ever seen. I'M A LUIGI!!!!! THE MEAN GREEN MACHINE!
(Luigi collapses on the floor and breathes heavily)
(Bowser laughs)
Old guy: That's some nice rapping there, BUT THIS IS A FIGHT DUMBASS!
Luigi: Wah!
(A Super Smash Bros logo is absorbed by the old guy)
Luigi: Oh shit! (a Smash Bros logo hits him as well) Wah!
Bowser: Fuck him up!
Luigi: Okie dokie!
[Luigi uses.... BIG GAY DANCE!]
Old guy: Dafuq? (Sends a wave of fire towards Luigi)
(Luigi panics and dodges. The fire hits a palm tree instead and bounces off towards the old guy.)
Old guy: Son of a bitch! (Gets hit and get hurtled into a boat)
[Fatality]
Luigi: I WON!!!! Weegee, Weegee, oh yeah, oh yeah!
Scene 6[]
(Luigi is seen driving a motorcycle down the streets with "swag")
(People stare at him in awe)
Luigi: Weegee, Weegee, oh yeah, oh yeah! Weegee, Weegee, oh yeah, oh yeah!
(Bowser appears out of a building)
Bowser: I'm back from the toilets! Let's go!
(Luigi insteads rams his motorcycle into the wall)
(Transition to Luigi and Bowser driving on the motorcycle)
Well Luigi, I've taught you everything about swag!
Luigi: All you did was tell me to wear a beanie and ride this motorcycle
Bowser: See! It's not so hard! I got a present for you!
Bowser: It's the swaggiest item a man could ever want! (Shows star-shaped sunglasses)
Bowser: And now you're all set to get all deh ladehs...
Bowser: HOLY CRAP STOP THE CAR!
(Luigi passes by a girl. Bowser and Luigi get off.)
Bowser: (walks towards the girl) Hi. Just wait a second...
Bowser: Wait. Almost done
(Bowser gets into a pose with pixel sunglasses)
Bowser: Hey baby, I'm gonna smack your butt so hard
Girl: POLICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(The police arrives)
Police: STAHP RIGHT THERE!
Bowser: OH CRAP! (Runs away, but Luigi stays)
(A Thwomp called Whomp appears)
Whomp: HEY! Did ya try flirting with my gurlfriend!?
(Luigi panics)
Girl: Thanks babe.
Whomp: Ha! Ya think your're bettar than me grean pipsqueak?
Luigi: Wha! No!
(Bowser appears again)
Bowser: HE THINKS YOUR GAY!
(Luigi panics)
Whomp: YOU BASTART ILL KEEL YOU!!!!
Whomp: MEN! GET OUT HERE!
(A bunch of blue Thwomps appear around Luigi. Even normal pedestrians turn into Thwomps.)
(Luigi cries)
(Bowser appears far away)
Bowser: PSST LUIGI! The swag! Use the power of the swag!
Luigi: Swag? (Changes clothing and starts dancing)
(Luigi strips)
Bowser: Ah fucking shit
Whomp: Get that motherfucker!
(All Thwomps attack Luigi)
Scene 7[]
(The castle doorbel rings)
Mario: (Comes out) Hello!
(A blue Thwomp appears with Luigi covered in blood)
Mario: Thank you! Luigi, let's go!
Luigi: Can I join the swag party?
Mario: What are you talking about? That party was last week!
Luigi: Wha-?
Mario: Silly Luigi. You're just drunk! Go home ok?
(Luigi cries and crawls away)
(Luigi suddenly hears a party coming from the castle)
Luigi: Hmm...!
(Later)
(Mario comes out of the castle naked and drunk)
(Luigi comes in a kart towards Mario)
Mario: Hm? (Gets run over)
(Music plays)
Mario: That didn't hurt!
Luigi: Wah! (Crashes)
(Luigi cries and crawls out)
Mario: It's ok Luigi. You'll get swag someday
(Luigi puts on the star-shaped sunglasses Bowser gave him earlier)
(Mario gets jealous)
[Credits roll]