Episode Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
This page is the transcript for Super Mario 64 Bloopers: The Lost Gems Part 1.
Transcript[]
| (Mario and Toad are talking in the main room of Peach's Castle) | |
| Mario | Wow really? |
| Toad | Yes Mario your hand grows back if you cut it off |
| Mario | Haha! I'm going to cut my hand off!! >:D |
| (The doorbell rings) | |
| Mario | Oohh visitor! (goes outside) |
| Mario | ....No one here |
| Mario | IS THIS A PRANK!? |
| Mario | God dammit.... I HATE TEENAGERS! |
| Mario | Can't they leave a 3 year old man! |
| (A beam from the sky shines down on Mario) | |
| Mario | HUH?! What the hell?!!!!!!! |
| Mario | ALIENS! I think... or it could be the drugs |
| ??? | (offscreen) Mario |
| Mario | Who said that? |
| ??? | (offscreen) The spirits from Star Heaven |
| Mario | Oh great the drugs are making me crazy again! Curse you mirjuana! |
| Star Spirits | (offscreen) Mario come closer so we can talk to you |
| Mario | But how? |
| Star Spirits | (offscreen) We will pull you up |
| (Mario begins rising into the air) | |
| Star Spirits | (offscreen) This is really heavy.... |
| (Cut to Mario on a giant star, surrounded by darkness) | |
| Star Spirits | (offscreen) Mario something terrible has happened |
| Mario | What you lost the Star Rod again? |
| Star Spirits | (offscreen) No something else.... D: |
| Star Spirits | (offscreen) We have lost... the Gems of Life! |
| Mario | OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... Whats a Gem of Life? |
| Star Spirits | (offscreen) They're very powerful crystals that keep the world... well you know |
| Star Spirits | (offscreen) We'll show you them |
| (Mario is transported to a grassy area surrounded by a white void) | |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) Mario this is the Gems of Life |
| Mario | Wow... |
| (The screen shifts to show a stone tower with four gems on it) | |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) But as you can see 3 gems are missing: |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) The Aqua Gem, the Fire Gem and the Green Gem |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) They were scattered yesterday.... |
| (A flashback begins in the same area) | |
| Star Spirit | (voiceover) I was having a cup of tea when this shadowy guy apeared |
| Star Spirit | (voiceover) I didn't notice him and he went closer to the gems |
| Star Spirit | (voiceover) He thought these jewels was precious so he stole some |
| Star Spirit | (voiceover) The blue gem |
| Star Spirit | (voiceover) The green gem |
| Star Spirit | (voiceover) The red gem |
| Star Spirit | (voiceover) And he threw them of the edge... What an idiot |
| (Cut back to the present, Mario is sleeping) | |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) ...WERE YOU LISTENING?! |
| Mario | (wakes up) What... Oh yes it was about... being gay right? |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) Just listen, I need your help to recover the gems |
| Mario | But they could of landed anywhere! |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) The Aqua Gem might of landed somewhere wheres there is water |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) The Lava Gem may have landed where there is lava |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) And the Green Gem... Well I don't know where that one landed |
| Mario | But why me! Why not some other loser! |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) Well....... Your the only person |
| Mario | Whatever I'm off |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) Mario! Don't jump off the.... ledge.... |
| (Mario jumps off the ledge and falls back down to the castle grounds) | |
| Mario | AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (lands) |
| Mario | (offscreen) Oh my spine... it snapped |
| Mario | Ok... Now the first gem I should find... the Aqua Gem |
| Mario | Which means it must be at a place with water |
| Mario | Hmm... (runs over to an inflatable pool) |
| Mario | (Doh! ****!) I thought it was going to be in the kiddie pool :( |
| (Cut to Mario in the castle's lake) | |
| Mario | Hmm.... |
| Mario | Nothing... (Mamaf***er!) |
| (Cut to Mario running toward the waterfall) | |
| Mario | The waterfall has to have it!!!!!! (moon jumps to the top of the waterfall) |
| Mario | Cmon NO!!!! |
| Mario | This is why I want to be a mermaid! |
| Mario | (slides down waterfall) (Mamaf***er!) |
| (Cut to Mario staring at a puddle) | |
| Mario | (Doh! ****!) |
| (Cut to Mario in the castle's main room) | |
| Mario | I'm not thinking clearly... |
| Toad | You never think clearly |
| Mario | Where is the most likely place for a Aqua Gem to be... |
| (The screen shifts to show a bathroom door) | |
| Mario | (offscreen) ....OH LORD.... |
| (Cut to Mario in the aquarium room) | |
| Mario | WOW! |
| (The screen shifts to show a floating door and fish swimming in air) | |
| Mario | There's a giant pretzel on the floor! |
| Mario | So Toad hows it hangin? |
| Toad | (in midair) There's something fishy going on |
| Mario | Yeah I am hungry to eat some fish |
| (Cut to Mario swimming in air at Bob-omb Battlefield) | |
| Mario | D: Well if there is no water here then no gems |
| Bob-omb Buddy | Uhh... You sure there is on water |
| Mario | What are you? Blind? There is no water here! |
| (Cut to Mario in a Mario Party game with Luigi, Wario and Yoshi) | |
| Mario | Has anyone seen a blue gem around here? |
| (Cut to Mario back in the castle's main room) | |
| Mario | Toad have you seen a blue gem around here? |
| Toad | (with a blue gem on top of his head) lolwut? |
| Mario | I GOT IT! Its in the shower! |
| (Mario enters the shower room) | |
| Peach | (offscreen) MARIO! GET OUT I'M IN THE SHOWER! |
| Mario | (offscreen) What are you so worked up about?... Let me just check if the water has the gem |
| Mario | (offscreen) Nope nothing |
| Peach | (offscreen) GET OUT! |
| Mario | (exits to the main room) Sheesh whats her problem? |
| (Cut to Mario outside the castle) | |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) MARIO! |
| Mario | Yo Star Spirit sup? |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) Have you tried looking for rare spots for the gem?! |
| Mario | Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkkke? |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) Jolly Rogers Bay idiot!!!!!!!!!! |
| Mario | Oh yeah thanks! |
| (Cut to Mario back in the aquarium room) | |
| Mario | Jolly Rogers Bay... |
| Mario | Well I'm not going to die if I just stand here |
| Mario | Letsa go! (enters Jolly Roger Bay) |
| Mario | (lands) Ow! My other spine snapped... |
| Mario | Ok now if I was a gem where would I be? |
| Mario | The Star Spirit said it was in a rare spot... |
| Mario | Nope... Not in my overalls |
| Mario | Oh well I'm going to take a nap |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) SEARCH THE SHIP MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Mario | Ohhhhhh the ship thanks |
| Mario | I'm going to need the Metal Mario Cap |
| Mario | (looks at yellow ! Block) I think this is it... |
| (Mario hits the block and a dancing banana pops out) | |
| Mario | Oohh a dancing banana |
| Mario | ...I wonder if its edible |
| (A bite and a scream are heard offscreen) | |
| Mario | Mmm that was one delicious banana! |
| Mario | (under a green ! block) Ok I'm sure the Metal Cap is in this one |
| (Mario hits the block, the Metal Cap and a dancing Mario banana pop out) | |
| Mario | (Doh! ****!) |
| Mario | Screw this I got work to do |
| Mario | (becomes Metal Mario) See you in hell |
| Mario | Ok here I come! (jumps into water and walks toward the ship) |
| Mario | Wouldn't metal rust? And how did I know that? |
| Mario | Boing! I'm even heavier without the Metal Cap |
| Mario | (passes by a giant clam) Hey clam |
| Mario | Ok here I go (jumps down to the ship) |
| Mario | Hey eel get out! Someone else has got to use that restroom to |
| Unagi | >:I |
| Mario | Do we have to do this the easy way or the hard way? |
| Unagi | .......... |
| Mario | OK! The hard way! |
| Screen Text | One eel fight later |
| (A gunshot is heard offscreen, cut to Mario inside the ship) | |
| Mario | I'm in! Now where is the aqua gem? |
| Mario | Its in one of these chest! |
| Mario | (is shocked by center chest) N n no |
| Mario | (is shocked by right chest) Nope not this one |
| Mario | (is shocked by left chest) Owch.. no |
| Mario | (is shocked by center chest again) No |
| Screen Text | Many guesses later |
| Mario | (is shocked by left chest again) How can treasure chest make electricity? |
| Mario | (is shocked by right chest again) Which one is it!? (Mamaf***er!) |
| Screen Text | Even more guesses later |
| Mario | Ok screw this I'm punching a hole in the boat |
| (Mario does this offscreen, the water level of the boat goes down) | |
| Mario | Haha! Owned! (Yeah! Hahaha!) |
| Mario | Ok I can do this |
| Mario | (tries climbing up a steep platform in the boat but fails) No no NO! |
| Mario | (Mamaf***er!) 10 secs of my life wasted to exerscising! |
| Screen Text | Take 2 |
| Mario | (moon jumps to the top but slides back) Yes yes!... NO!!!!!!!!!! |
| Mario | (F***er! F***er! F***er! F***er! F***er! F***er! F***er! F***er!) |
| Mario | >:( (moon jumps again, succeeding this time) |
| Mario | YES I MADE IT! |
| Mario | (dancing) WOOOOOOOOOOOO! |
| Mario | (accidentally runs off the edge while celebrating) (Doh! ****!) |
| Mario | (climbs back on) Ok here we go |
| Mario | (hits the ! block, revealing a star) ??!?!?!??! WHERES THE GEM?! |
| Mario | (Mamaf***er!) I didn't want a star! I wanted a blue gem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Mario | >:O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Mario | (raging) Star Spirit! You said the gem was going to be here! |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) I said it MAY be here! |
| Mario | So I went all the way here for nothing! |
| (Mario reenters the castle via the aquarium room) | |
| Mario | I DO STUFF THAT ARE USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Mario | Where is it! A boat was a rare spot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| (The screen shifts to show an aquarium with the Aqua Gem in it) | |
| Mario | This sucks |
| Mario | Or it could be there |
| Mario | How convinient |
| Mario | Don't worry I got it! |
| Mario | (runs into the glass, breaking it) Haha! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| (Mario collects the Aqua Gem, then goes back to the grassy area) | |
| Mario | Hey Star Spirit! I got the Aqua Gem! |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) Good good now you have 2 more to go |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) Now safely put it on the stool |
| (Mario drops the gem onto the pedestal, a smashing sound is heard) | |
| Star Spirit | (offscreen) What was that? |
| Mario | Uhh... nothing.... I'll come back with the other gems |
| Mario | (falls onto the castle grounds again) (Waaaaaaaaoooooo!) |
| Mario | (lands) *crack* ...My third spine.... |
| Mario | Time to get the Lava Gem!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Mario | Right after I take a short nap........ |
| Mario | (I'm-a tired!) (yawns) (falls asleep) |
| Screen Text |
Thanks for watching Director Me Cast Mario I want to thank: YouTube viewers For watching this! Part 2 coming soon |
| Mario | (wakes up) Hey do you smell pasta! :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| (Mario runs and jumps off the castle bridge, fade to black) | |
| End of Transcript |