Super Mario 64 Bloopers: The Mario Parable

Super Mario 64 Bloopers: The Mario Parable is the fiftieth episode of Season 3 and the one hundred and fiftieth overall to be uploaded by SMG4.

This episode was aired on November 3rd, 2013.

Synopsis

Today we see the interesting story of the life of Mario, where his princess, Peach is stolen and- wait some other crap happen. :P

Plot

The narrator begins to tell the audience a story about Mario. He tells Mario that Peach is calling from upstairs – Mario refuses to meet her until the narrator says that Peach wanted him to have spaghetti. Neither the princess nor the spaghetti turns out to be there, but Peach's scream emanates from a painting hanging on the wall.

While the narrator claims that Mario goes to rescue her, Mario is, in fact, intending to leave. The narrator tells Mario that he just wants to make the latter's life more interesting. Mario demands that the voice stops narrating his life, leading the narrator to demonstrate the actual meaning of "narrating someone's life" in graphic detail. The narrator asks to return to the story, but Mario dashes out of the castle, screaming like a girl.

Outside the castle, Mario spots Luigi. He begins to speak what is gibberish until subtitles are added. Mario turns out to be telling Luigi about the narrator and asking for help. Luigi, in disbelief, walks away. Mario then gets a magician to help get rid of the voice, but the narrator spawns a Thwomp above him.

The narrator explains that he has divine powers, then takes Mario to Bob-Omb Battlefield to finish the story. He claims that the princess was stolen. However, Mario throws the princess on-screen to end the story prematurely. The narrator retaliates by turning Mario into a pimp and having him harassed by a Teletubby. Mario escapes to a room in Peach's Castle as the narrator laughs. Suddenly SMG4 pops in, declaring that he just took a shit. He asks Mario what's wrong, leading the latter to tell him about his predicament. Despite Mario's objections, SMG4 goes to get an exorcist.

Mario asks the narrator why the latter can't annoy someone else. The narrator tells Mario that he sees something special about Mario – namely, retardation. Mario decides to ignore the disembodied voice; however, the narrator begins rapping about his occupation and powers, much to Mario's chagrin. Mario claims to be able to sing better than the narrator and demonstrates by singing a random, drunken-sounding song. While Princess Peach, now outside the room for whatever reason, tells Mario to be quiet, the narrator seems to think that Mario deserves a reward.

Mario appears in Bowser in the Dark World, about to fight Bowser. The narrator then calls Bowser an ugly, clumsy fat-ass idiot who ruins everything. Bowser becomes extremely dejected after hearing these insults and quickly runs away, calling for his mother, rather than fighting Mario as the narrator had hoped. Mario thinks that he was the target of the narrator's insults, rather than Bowser; nevertheless the plumber is excited by the prospect of the parable being finished.

With the story completely ruined, the narrator takes Mario to the top of a giant cliff in an effort to kill the plumber. He asks Mario what kind of jump he will use to kill himself. Mario tries to convince himself that he is dreaming, and suddenly finds himself on the castle grounds. The narrator states that none of this is real – or, more precisely, that Mario himself is not real.

Mario objects to this idea, prompting the narrator to hang lampshades on several aspects of Super Mario 64 and SMG4's bloopers. For instance, everyone Mario meets wears an M on his cap; in fact, every human Mario meets has the same exact body features as him. Mario just shrugs these off, calling the narrator crazy; the narrator tells Mario to believe what he wants, but the truth is that Mario's world is merely a simulation. The screen recorder zooms out from a close-up of Mario, revealing that the plumber is standing within a window of Project64. As the frame zooms in, following a cursor headed for the window's close button, the video footage slowly becomes red; the narrator's voice slows down and deepens demonically as he explains that Mario's reality is what one might call Sᴜᴘᴇʀ Mᴀ̠͕̲͔ʀ͓̪͙͜ͅɪ̧͍̖̮͇ᴏ̤̠͉̗̺ ̟̞̭̤̯6̡̯̙͈͕̭̱̥̪̙̘4̢̡̧̧̧̲̼̗̝̲̱̤̪̳̯̼̤̮̜̮̗͜…̢̧͍͉͓̩̤̖͈̹͇͈̦̠̭͖̭̝̺̣͜ ,and then closes the window, seemingly killing Mario.

The narrator then proceeds to narrate Bowser's life where he claims that Bowser was a weirdo who liked kidnapping princesses for a living and that he had other weird hobbies that were mildly disturbing. He then claimed that Bowser lived such a happy life that Dr. Mario came to report to him that he was pregnant, much to his shock.

Characters

Main Characters

• Narrator
• Mario

Supporting Characters

• Princess Peach

Minor Characters

• Luigi
• SMG4
• Bowser
• Dr. Mario

Cameos

• Toads
• Old Man Hobo (appears at 2:02 but was killed by a Thwomp)
• Thwomp (appears at 2:06)
• Dr. Eggman (first appears at 2:16)
• Teletubbies (first appears at 2:16)
• Banana Joe (appears at 2:17)
• Bob-omb Buddies (appears at 2:22)
• Steve (appears at 3:35)
• Slenderman (appears at 3:37)
• Waluigi (appears at 3:48)
• Random guy (appears at 5:33)

Trivia

• In this blooper, the Mario Bros. are heard speaking in their generic RPG voices; Luigi, however, is said to be too retarded to understand, and that the only way they can communicate is with subtitles.
• The narrator constantly breaks the fourth wall, most notably referring to Mario's life as Super Mario 64.
• The music that was playing during the Narrator's Rap is the intro theme from GTA: San Andreas.
• Bowser and Mario are the only two characters shown to be able to hear the narrator.
• SMG4 is present in a scene near the end of the blooper, despite previously telling Mario that he will get an exorcist, due to deeming him insane.
• The desktop shown near the end of the blooper includes the music file that SMG4 used for the narrator's rap, in addition to texture packs for Super Mario 64. The mouse cursor appears to be moved by the narrator. This cements the fact that all bloopers, in reality, take place on SMG4's computer, and leaves two possibilities about the identity of Mario's harasser: either the narrator is using SMG4's computer, or the narrator for this episode is SMG4, who is using text dictation software and is working through video-editing programs.
• When Bowser cries out the arena the crying is from Jananimation's Button Mash from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.