Episode Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
This page is the transcript for Super Mario 64 Bloopers: War of the Fat Italians 2011.
Transcript[]
| (The blooper begins outside Peach's Castle) | |
| Mario | *Sniff* So when I finished my dinner.... |
| Mario | THERE WAS NO MORE SPHAGETTI! NOOOO! |
| Mario | WAHHHHHHHHH! They where so young! And tasty! |
| Lakitu | (offscreen) Uhh Mario I don't think the viewers want to hear your sob stories |
| Mario | I hey! You don't pay me to do nothing! |
| Lakitu | (offscreen) We don't pay you at all |
| Mario | >:( Fine I'll go tell Toad my story! |
| (Mario enters the castle and meets with Toad) | |
| Mario | Hey Toad want to hear my sad story? |
| Toad | Let me guess you eat your sphagetti and you cry because there's no more |
| Mario | How did you know? |
| Toad | You tell it to me every hour |
| Mario | >:( Fine be a Toad |
| Mario | Damn I'm bored and no one wants to listen to my storys |
| Mario | :D I got an idea! I can pull a prank! |
| Mario | >:D On SMG4! Then he'll rage! And then..... uhh I tell him my sad story! |
| Mario | >:D The perfect plan! |
| (Mario enters SMG4's room) | |
| Screen Text | (Insert weird rape sounds here) |
| Mario | (exits the room) LOLOLOLOLOLOOOL! |
| SMG4 | (walks onscreen) Man Luigi doesn't shut up! |
| SMG4 | When he's talking about men! |
| (SMG4 enters his room) | |
| SMG4 | You know I think I should kill myself |
| SMG4 | ....I'll do that tommorow |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) O_O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| SMG4 | What happened to my computer!? |
| (The screen shifts to show that SMG4's computer has been vandalized) | |
| SMG4 | But who could of done this! |
| SMG4 | (glaring) ....Mario and Luigi....... |
| SMG4 | Fine! If Mario and Luigi mess with me! I mess with them! |
| (The computer screen shows a folder titled "Do not open or I will rape you folder") | |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) There's this video that Mario never wants anyone to see |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) Though the folder is obvious |
| (SMG4 clicks the folder, which has another folder titled "Do not open!" inside) | |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) >:D |
| (The folder nesting continues, with folders named "ARE YOU BLIND DO NOT OPEN!", "Your pushing it!", "LOL! I mean! Don't!", "Ok stop!", "I'll tell you my sad sphagetti story", and "(sadface) You don't listen!") | |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) Why the hell does he put it so deep! |
| (The final folder is opened, revealing a video file called "Secret movies! Dun open!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!") | |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) Aha! Here it is! |
| SMG4 | (with evil grin) >:D Hehehe |
| (The screen fades to black, then fades back in on Mario) | |
| Screen Text | 1 week later |
| Mario | (with trollface) Lalalala! |
| (Mario is shown scrolling through YouTube) | |
| Mario | (offscreen) I wonder what's new on YouTube |
| Mario | Hey here's a cool looking one! |
| (The video shows Mario standing outside of the castle naked) | |
| Mario | (in video) Hi guys have you heard about the new Hello Kitty collection? |
| Mario | (in video, while images rapidly appear around him) Well there's the Hello Kitty pack blah blah! |
| Mario | (loud laughing) ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S FUNNY CAUSE HE'S ASIAN!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Mario | Wait a minute! That guy..... |
| Mario | IS GAY HAHAHAHAHA! |
| Lakitu | (offscreen) Mario you do know that's you |
| Mario | What that's crazy.... |
| Mario | OMG! He's got big boobys like ME! THIS IS MY PERSONAL VIDEO! |
| Mario | WHO DID THIS CAUSE THEY'RE GOING TO GET RAPED! |
| (Mario looks at the name of the channel that uploaded the video, which is revealed to be SMG4) | |
| Mario | (glaring) That guy..... who? Oh I mean SMG4..... |
| Mario | (breaks open the door, screaming in rage) |
| Mario | Oops.... Sorry.... Door.... |
| (SMG4 is standing next to Link's unconscious, bleeding body again) | |
| Mario | (offscreen) YOU! Fatty McFat Fat! |
| SMG4 | What!?! |
| Mario | Why did you post my personal video! |
| Mario | OF ME SHOWING MY SEXY COLLECTION!!? |
| SMG4 | YOU SCRIBBLED ALL OVER MY COMPUTER! |
| Toad | (eats popcorn) :D This is going somewhere |
| Toad | I call it.... War of the Fat Italians! |
| Mario | Ok here's the deal! |
| Mario | (pulls out knife) I kill you and I get to steal your Hello Kitty collection! |
| SMG4 | Ok thats it! Your dead! (runs at Mario) |
| (Sounds of bullets and conflict happen offscreen) | |
| X | Wow! Guys! What is going on!? |
| Mario | This dude is hitting me with a toilet! |
| SMG4 | (holding a toilet) He started it! |
| X | It doesn't matter who started it! Just stop fighting! |
| SMG4 | Yeah maybe we should just stop and forget about it |
| Mario | Ok......................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................... |
| Mario | When Luigi stops acting gay LOLOLLLOLOLOLOL! (runs away) |
| SMG4 | Fine! This is war! |
| Toad | Of the Fat Italians |
| (Mario enters a room in the castle, where Luigi, wearing a dress, is) | |
| Mario | You! You come with me! (drags Luigi behind him) |
| Luigi | (Wowowawawawawa!) |
| SMG4 | (back in his room) X we got work to do |
| (The screen fades to black, then fades back in on Mario) | |
| Screen Text | The next day |
| Mario | Ok Luigi here's the plan |
| Mario | You and me invade SMG4's base |
| Mario | Then we get a giant duck and smash em with it |
| Mario | Then we can get 1000 ninjas to dance on them |
| Mario | Then we can get a burger after |
| Luigi | Sounds great but where are we going to get 1000 ninjas and a giant duck? |
| Mario | Just follow my lead! |
| (Screen cuts to the main room, where SMG4 and X are accompanied by a group of ninjas and a giant duck) | |
| SMG4 | >:D You like my army?! |
| X | (holding a burger) See we even have burgers! |
| Luigi | HEY! They stole our idea! |
| Mario | Dammit! And all we have is... |
| Mario | (holding a stick) This stick |
| Mario | Ok! To stop all this madness! |
| Mario | (holds up paper) I want you to sign this peace treaty! |
| SMG4 | Peace treaty? Ok hold the rocket launcher |
| X | (holding rocket launcher) Damn I just reloaded |
| SMG4 | Give me that peace treaty! |
| SMG4 | (looking closely) Hmmm |
| (The screen shows the "piss triety", which says "w make peace! sign:_____") | |
| SMG4 | Ok I signed it |
| Mario | Hmmmmm |
| (The treaty is signed ":3 Screw you") | |
| Mario | (offscreen) Why did you draw boobs |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) That's a :3 face and I wrote screw you! |
| Mario | >:D well time to screw you! |
| Toad | Now I heard everything |
| X | Ok! I'm sure we can work something out other than hit each other with toilets! |
| (SMG4 is now holding a toilet again) | |
| Mario | My toilet is sexier! |
| X | How about we do a competition doing stuff |
| SMG4 | What's that going to prove? |
| Mario | That I'm sexy! |
| SMG4 | >:( Fine we'll do the competition |
| Luigi | Not another competition! |
| Toad | Oohh! I bags being the host! |
| Toad | Eh hem! Ok so we are going to do stuff to decide who is sexier!...or whatever! |
| X | Ok first game we're going to play is draw.... |
| Mario | (offscreen) Ooh! Are we going to draw stuff? |
| X | Its were each player holds a pellet gun and wait until I say draw |
| X | First person to shoot the guy when I saw draw wins! |
| Luigi | (Holds up "Round 1" sign while wearing pink underwear on top of his clothes) |
| Mario | (holding real gun) Man what I could do with this pellet gun |
| (Mario and SMG4 stand with their backs to each other) | |
| X | (offscreen) When I saw draw |
| (long period of silence) | |
| Mario | (turns around) HJAHAHAHHAHAHAH! |
| X | (offscreen) STOP! I didn't say draw! |
| Mario | >:( (turns around) |
| X | (offscreen) Draw! |
| (Mario turns around and fires his gun) | |
| Mario | ...Oops |
| Luigi | (missing his head) This is what happens if I dress sexy |
| X | Mario did you use a real gun!? |
| Mario | There's such things as a fake gun? |
| SMG4 | Lets just move on! |
| X | Since you guys aren't getting along like BROS! |
| X | We're going to do activities that will help bring you closer |
| Mario | What are you gay!? |
| SMG4 | Not with this lame fatty! |
| Luigi | I think its a good idea |
| X | Ok so I'm going to ask you questions about each other |
| X | And see how much you know about each other |
| X | (offscreen) Ok Mario what's SMG4's long name |
| Mario | Gay Turd! |
| SMG4 | WHAT DID YOU CALL ME! |
| X | Ooh so close.... but still too far |
| X | Ok SMG4! What is Mario's favorite food |
| SMG4 | Toad's "dump" in the toilet |
| Mario | Ew! I don't eat from the toilet! I eat off the ground! |
| Toad | Hey! My dump is very sexy smelling! |
| X | ): Ok moving on with the what you would do questions |
| X | Ok Mario what would you do if SMG4 was hanging of a cliff to his death?? |
| Mario | Poop in his mouth and laugh at him |
| Mario | And record his death and put it on YouTube |
| SMG4 | NO U! |
| X | Ok......... SMG4 if you found out Mario was dead what would you do? |
| SMG4 | (running in circles) PARTY AT MY HOUSE! |
| Mario | Can I join? |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) No your dead |
| X | Ok this is going no where I got a question for both of you! |
| X | Will you guys ever forgive each other! |
| SMG4 | We all know the answer for that (picks up toilet) |
| Mario | NEVER! |
| Toad | Ok we're on our next challenge! |
| Toad | Will these two fattys ever come together or will they keep poopin in each others mouth! |
| X | Ok now this one each will draw each other |
| X | So that we can identify each other |
| SMG4 | I already drew Mario! |
| (A picture of Mario's head drawn over a circle drawing template is shown) | |
| Luigi | (offscreen)Wow...nice snowman |
| Mario | My one is exactley what SMG4 looks like! |
| (A picture of a man whose stomach has been photoshopped to appear larger than normal is shown) | |
| Luigi | (offscreen) Yeah that looks like him |
| X | *sigh* |
| Screen Text | Staring contest |
| (Mario and SMG4 stare at each other) | |
| Toad | (holding camera) They look so sexy :3 |
| Mario | YOU BLINKED! |
| SMG4 | >:( HEY! YOU TO! |
| Screen Text | Sphagetti eating contest |
| SMG4 | (with seven full plates in front of him) Man how do you eat this so fast |
| Mario | (with empty plates) *burp* |
| Toad | Hey! I ate popcorn all this blooper! |
| Toad | And I don't look like a overweighted rapist! |
| Screen Text | Pokemon |
| (Mario is shown using a Snorlax, while SMG4 uses an Arceus) | |
| Mario | Oh yeah! Snorlax looks like me! |
| Mario | Snorlax use Super Ultra Sex! |
| (Snorlax falls on its back) | |
| Mario | >:( Cmon I use that move all the time! |
| Toad | (with a dead Pikachu next to him) This reminds me of the Pikachu I onced owned |
| Toad | Man it was as annoying as hell |
| Screen Text | Barbie teaparty |
| Mario | *girly voice* Some more tea Ken? |
| SMG4 | Can I kill myself now? |
| Screen Text | Giving a old man a bath? |
| Old Man Hobo | (in a bathtub) :D |
| Mario | Man I wish I was old man to get a bath |
| X | Ok who is creating these stupid activitys |
| Toad | Hmm what should we do next? |
| Screen Text | Sumo wrestling |
| Toad | Hey! I think I know what your doing next! |
| X | THIS IS POINTLESS! WE'RE GOING NO WHERE! |
| X | WE NEED TO GET YOU BACK TOGETHER! |
| Mario | Calm down Charlie Brown! |
| Mario | We can just kill SMG4 and everything goes back to normal |
| SMG4 | Yeah! So I can get out of here! |
| X | No one kills anyone! |
| Old Man Hobo | Why don't we all take a bath? |
| X | NO! |
| Old Man Hobo | :( |
| Toad | Lets do a race! |
| Mario | What is this race you speak of? |
| Toad | Whoever gets me a can of Coke gets a slap in the face |
| X | Yep I give up you two can't trust eachother |
| (The Shady Character breaks open the front door) | |
| Shady Character | FREEZE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP! |
| Shady Character | ....Sorry doors.... |
| Mario | Who's this guy? |
| Shady Character | I am....SOME ROBBER DUH DUH DUHHHHHHH! |
| SMG4 | Oh hai Some Robber bathroom is to the left |
| Shady Character | (holding a gun) I said put your hands up! I got a gun! |
| Mario | Oh that changes everything AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (high-pitched screaming) |
| X | What are you going to do to us? |
| Shady Character | Oh nothing just like to sit here and watch you guys |
| SMG4 | (quietly) What kind of robber does that? |
| Shady Character | WHAT!? |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) Nothing |
| Screen Text | 1 hour later |
| Shady Character | Have you guys ever heard of my sad story? |
| Shady Character | The time I got ran over by a stroller |
| Mario | *sniff* Really :( |
| SMG4 | I need to get him out of here... |
| SMG4 | Hmmm (turns to look at the floor) |
| SMG4 | (sees Mario's "pellet gun" laying next to a stick) *gasp* |
| SMG4 | The stick (slowly walks over to the stick) |
| Shady Character | You! Guy with retarted colour code! Stop or I will shoot! |
| SMG4 | (freezes in place) ...Uh-oh |
| X | Please don't shoot him... He's the only guy I can annoy |
| Shady Character | Yeah that's right stay there or your head will end up on the floor! |
| SMG4 | (quietly) Just wait for it SMG4... |
| SMG4 | NOW! (runs over and grabs the stick) |
| Shady Character | (offscreen) HEY! |
| Mario | Uh-oh... Mario do something.... |
| Shady Character | Don't move or there is going to be a bullet in your groin! |
| Shady Character | Isn't that right gun (in weird voice) Yes! |
| SMG4 | D: Good bye cruel cruel world |
| Mario | Oh what to do?...... |
| (The camera shifts dramatically between the Shady Character, SMG4, Mario, and...) | |
| X | (Tetris sound effects) (looks up) Huh? Oh sorry the camera wasn't on me |
| Shady Character | You asked for it (fires gun at SMG4) |
| Mario | NOOOOOOOOOO! |
| (Mario long-jumps in front of SMG4 in SUPER slow motion as the bullet slowly approaches him, and...) | |
| X | :s What happened? |
| SMG4 | Mario?..... |
| (Mario's body is shown on the floor, covered in blood, as the SMB death sound effect plays) | |
| SMG4 | NO!!!!!!! I REGRET EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! |
| SMG4 | I don't hate Mario! I miss him! |
| SMG4 | I even like him like a bro! |
| Mario | (standing up) Wow that might be the gayest thing I ever heard! |
| SMG4 | Mario! Your alive :D But how? |
| Mario | Guess my fat is too thick |
| SMG4 | :D! Let me take care of the robber! |
| Shady Character | What do you want? See what happens if you don't listen to a robber? |
| SMG4 | Dude! Did you know who you just shot! |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) THE QUEEN!!!! |
| Shady Character | What? Really? |
| SMG4 | Yeah! She is really mad! |
| SMG4 | She's going to kill you! |
| Mario | (wearing pink underwear and a crown) Yep uh-huh! *clicks fingers* |
| X | Your a bad person! |
| Shady Character | No no! This can't be happeneing! |
| SMG4 | Yep naughty! |
| Mario | I am going to tell the Federal Police of Pancakes! |
| SMG4 | (offscreen) Now think about what you have done! |
| Shady Character | I WILL! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (runs out of the castle) |
| SMG4 | Don't mess with me! |
| SMG4 | Mario you saved my life! And I regret the fight we had |
| SMG4 | I'm sorry do you forgive all of this |
| Mario | *sniff* I forgive you |
| Mario | IN LUIGI'S GAY DREAMS! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL (runs away) |
| SMG4 | Why you!... Haha! Oh Mario |
| X | Wait a minute where is Luigi? |
| (The screen cuts to Luigi sleeping outside of the castle) | |
| Luigi | zzzzzzzzzzzzz |
| Shady Character | (offscreen) WAHHHHH! |
| Luigi | (wakes up) Huh? |
| Shady Character | (runs past Luigi) I don't want fedarel pancake police to kill me! |
| Luigi | What a baby |
| (The screen cuts to Old Man Hobo in a bathtub as the credits roll) | |
| Credits | Thanks for watching!
:D:D:D:D::D:D:D Thought Mario died...HAHA what a baby Till next time |
| Old Man Hobo | Can somebody give me a bath? |
| Old Man Hobo | D: |
| End of Transcript |