Super Mario 64 Guides: Mario's Guide to Defeating Bowser 2.0 is the thirty-fifth episode of Season 2 and the eighty-fourth overall to be uploaded by SMG4.
This episode was aired on May 27, 2012.
Step #1: Make sure you know who you are dealing with
Mario goes to state that %90 of retards try to fight Bowser, but end up fighting the wrong enemy. You have to be completely sure that you are fighting Bowser. Mario demonstrates by examining Bowser's crotch area. Bowser alerts Mario that the camera is still rolling. After telling Lakitu to turn it off, Mario keeps examining.
Step #2: Drug Bowser
Mario states that drugging Bowser will make the coming battle much easier. Mario proceeds to offer Bowser some cocaine, which ends up making Bowser want to kiss Mario
Step #3: Shoot Bowser with a Gun
Mario proceeds to shoot Bowser with a pistol
Step #4: Shoot Bowser Again
The episode then cuts to Mario walking into a mine and being blown away. This is allegedly "NOT PART OF THE VIDEO"
Step #5: Make sure when you're about to grab Bowser's tail he doesn't...
Bowser suddenly farts in Mario's face as Mario is grabbing his tail, resulting in Mario's horrid screams
Mario then explains that if you do not want to fight, you can make peace with Bowser. Mario demonstrates by apologizing to Bowser for trying to kill him and promising to never hurt him again. Bowser deems the apology bullsh*t and toasts Mario with his fire breath.
The episode cuts to another pointless shot of Mario zooming around the lair with Bowser in his hands.
Before Mario can explain the next step, he spots Steve humping Bowser and asks why he is there. Steve gives Mario a blank stare and resumes humping Bowser.
Mario tells the viewer that before any epic battle, you must have epic battle music. After the DJ puts on bad music, Mario takes control. Bowser then takes the radio and him and Mario fight over it. When the music cuts to Justin Bieber songs, Mario and Bowser's ears are sent into pain, rendering them incapable of turning it off.
Mario's next tip is to cheat, seeing as it is the easiest way to win. Mario approaches Bowser, but finds that Bowser has grown into a giant, stunning Mario.
Mario proceeds to explain how you can seduce Bowser. Mario throws off his clothes and starts dancing, which kills Bowser.
Mario's next tip is to call Bowser gay. This makes the battle easier because saying such a comment causes Bowser to explode.
Mario's final tip is to try and get on Bowser's good side. Mario turns and tells Bowser he is cool, to which Bowser thanks Mario. Mario takes it back and laughs hysterically.
Mario then demonstrates what an epic battle with Bowser should look like: Mario runs up to Bowser and punches him. After that he charges at Bowser with a knife, thinking he cut Bowser's stomach open. Bowser alerts Mario that he actually cut his own arm off, which upon realization, causes Mario to freak out.
Mario then explains that if any of the previous steps didn't work, just throw a rock at Bowser and go home.
Mario congratulates the viewer on being a master to defeating Bowser and declares his next guide will show how to work a toaster. He signs off as Gonzales Butthead and Bowser laughs at his alias name, to which Mario tells Bowser to shut up.
The episode then cuts to the castle and the whole guide was something Mario made on SMG4's PC. Mario asks if SMG4 liked it and SMG4, in response, explodes.
- This is a sequel/remake of Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Mario's Guide to Defeating Bowser.