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This page is the transcript for Super Mario Guides: HOW TO CATCH POKEMON.
Transcript[]
(SMG4 productions intro)
Mario: PSST, Luigi! Make it look I caught it, quick!
Luigi: Uhh... OOOooo! The Pokéman has been captured!
Mario: So... you guys want to become a Pokémon Master like me? Then just follow my these sexy tips!
Method 1: Battle the Pokéman[]
Mario: People know the easiest way to catch Pokémon is to battle it! So Step 1... FIND A POKÉMON...
Bulbasaur...? wants to battle Pikachu!
Mario: Bulbasaur, use Razor Leaf!!!
Luigi: Mario... I think people have figured that you don't have any Pok-
Mario: You better f*cking DO IT NOWWW!!
Mario: ...Well, nothing a good potion can fix.
Mario: ALRIGHTY!! Maybe Mario should try again.
Method 2: Set a Trap![]
Mario: Well... it battling doesn't work, cause your Pokémon is a WEAK PIECE OF SHET... Then you can always place a trap!!!
Mario: First, you must get some bait. I choose spaghetti cause it's yummy. :D Next, you place the bait on your deadly intricate bear trap.
[Mario places the spaghetti on the bear trap.]
Mario: Alright! The trap is set! [Mario sees the Mimikyu behind him] What the? What's a mop doing here? GET THE F*CK outta here...
Mario: Oh! Here comes a Pokémon!
Mario: Come on you fat [bleep] do it...
Mario: OH COME ON!!! How can you not take the spaghetti! I mean look how sexy it is!
Mario: Who's laughing now? I got my spaghetti.
Method 3: Seduce the Pokéman![]
Mario: If you can't trap them, try winning their hearts over! Speaking of which, there's a Pokémon over there right now!
[A Alolan Dugtrio passes by]
Mario: So your'e going to need a really sexy costume of the Pokémon! I think our lovely volunteer, Luigi is willing to wear the "costume"!
Luigi: HUH WHAT??!! NONONONONONONONO!!
Mario: Come on Luigi! Someone (but Mario) need to do it!!
Luigi: No...
Mario: Pleaaaase. Look at my face. You'd reject a sexy face like this?
[Luigi looks at Mario's face]
Luigi: Ooohh... ok...
Mario: YYAAAAYY!
Luigi: [teeth chattering] HEY!!
Luigi: Luigi, Luigi, Oh yeah, Oh yeah.
Dugtrio use Hyper Beam.
Luigi: Ooooooohhhh....
Mario: D'oh. To make you feel better, Luigi... I think you looked pretty sexy! :D
Method 4: Go Fishing![]
Mario: Who needs land Pokémon, when we have water Pokémon too!!
Mario: ...How about we do something else?...
Method 5: Use the Z-Move![]
Mario: OK! This is one has to work! You gotta do that crappy special Zebra-Move or something! Luigi! Do your Z-Move!
Luigi: [collapses] Mama mia...
Mario: FINE! It's-a my turn now!
Mario: Time to die.
Mario used... his special Z-MOVE! :OOOOOO
Mario surrounds himself with his Z-power!
ITALIAN THUNDERFAT
Mario: Woo! Thank god. I'm so fat! :D
Method 6: Talk to the Pokéman![]
Mario: Hello fellow tree Pokéman! I'm uhh... Maria, a new tree Pokéman who has moved in! Can you let me pleaseee catch you? :D
Alolan Exeggutor: Mom? Mom is that you? :D
Mario: Sayy whaaaatt?
Method 7: Distract the Pokéman![]
Mimikyu: PLEASE NOTICE ME SENPAI ;_;
Mario: Alright! So I sorta had to use Luigi's surgery money to buy this expensive doll! But now I can distract them and capture them!! OH, and here comes one now!!!
Method 8: Ask Nintendo really really nicely.[]
Mario: Excuse me, can I speak to the boss, please?
Secretary: Ok sir, what is your name?
Mario: BIATCH! IT'S-A ME, MARIO!
Secretary: Ah right, I forgot LOL. Follow me.
Reggie: Oh... is that Mario? I've been expecting you...
Mario: Catching Pokémon is BULLSHET! Give me a Pokémon now!!!
Reggie: Oh, is that it? Sure.
Mario: Oh yes. THAT'S-A SO NI-
Reggie: JUST KIDDING BITCH! If you want a Pokémon... you must battle me...
Mario: Wooohoho okiedoke... [pulls out a AK-47]
Reggie: Battle me... to a Pokémon battle!!!
Mario: AHH CRAP! UHH... I'm not afraid! Bring it on!!
Mario: Why didn't you come help me?
Luigi: ...
Final method: Give Up and cry...[]
Mario: Awww... you want to be my Pokémon?
Mario: WOOHOO... and that people, is how you catch dem Pokémans!
Mario: Give me a hug, little guy!
Mario: Was it wearing a disguise?...