This is the transcript of the blooper, Super Minecraft 64 Bloopers: Legend of Steve made by SMG4.


{Screen is black with cherry blossoms falling}

Text: There is a legend...

{Text Fades}

Text: of the chosen one who will come...

{Text and Blossoms Fade}


{Steve in a grassy plain in the Minecraft world, dressed like Link, riding a pig, and holding a stick. Shy Guy pops up, he is wearing a sombrero and a mustache}

Mexican Shy Guy: (To the tune of a remixed Legend of Zelda theme)


He come to town!

Come to save...

The princess Zelda!

{Ganondorf appears}

Text: Curse you Bieber!


Now the children don't play

but they will...

When link saves the day

Mexican Shy Guy: HALLELUJAH!!!

{Music stops}

{Mario and Supermarioglitchy4 are staring at Steve, who is still dressed as Link, running around and swinging his stick as if he sees something they don't}

Steve: (Spoken): OH MY GOD! (Making slurping sounds) Oh my God!

Smg4: (to Mario): i told you not to feed him mushrooms!

{Mario runs off-screen with a Mario-ish Trollface, giggling}

{Minecraft 64 blooper opening title}

Smg4: this is going to take a while!

Smg4: wha? steve! stop doing that! {steve is seen humping a chicken}

Smg4: ehh godammit!

Mario: HEY I WAS GOING TO DO THAT! {steve nods no dramatically]

{Zoom in on Steve's face. The scene changes to his vision: him frolicking through a surreal landscape. He stumbles upon a girl. They run up to each other and begin to kiss each other.}

{Cut back to reality, where Mario is looking teary-eyed at Steve kissing a pig. "What Is Love" plays in the background.}

Steve: (spoken) I love you.

Female Steve: (spoken) *squeals*

{The sun begins to set. Suddenly, a Ghast descends from the sky. A pig with a saddle on looks up at the creature. Steve jumps back. A Minecraftian Dr. Eggman begins to cackle.}

{Cut back to reality.}

Mario: (spoken) Whoa!

{Cut to Eggman, no longer in Minecraftian form, on a hovercraft.}

Steve: (spoken) Get that motherfucker! Get that motherfucker! Get that motherfucker!

Mario: (spoken) Hello!

Dr. Eggman: (spoken) Hi!

{Steve looks up at Eggman and his craft. He begins to jump up and down and wave his hands}

SMG4: can we help you?!

{Dr. Eggman cackles. A speech balloon depicting a fork next to a Minecraft cooked steak is right next to him, symbolizing that he wants to eat the pig. Back in Steve's vision, Eggman wants to kidnap Female Steve. Steve takes a leap back and Female Steve begins to walk away.}

Female Steve: (spoken) Aah! Help me!

{Steve readies his sword.}

{Cut back to reality.}

Dr. Eggman: (spoken) I wonder what's for dinner?

{Zoom in on the pig.}

Dr. Eggman: (spoken) Aha!

{He leaps down from his craft.}

{Cut to Steve's vision.}

Dr. Eggman: (spoken) I've got big plans!

{ Dr. Eggman begins to inch closer to Steve. He laughs. Steve runs towards Eggman.}


{Cut back to reality. Eggman screams. Steve begins to flail the stick in his hand at Eggman, who initially cowers in fear before standing up.}

Dr. Eggman: (spoken) Oh, okay!

{Eggman snatches the pig and runs away.}

Voice: (spoken) Dinner!

{Cut back to Steve's vision, where Female Steve is being dragged away by Eggman.}

Female Steve: (spoken) Aah! Help me!

{Cut back to reality. Eggman flies away on his hovercraft, taking the pig with him.}

Steve: (spoken) Shit!

SMG4: uh steve, we know you're sad about losing that pig you hump so much

SMG4: we'll uhh...get that pig back or something...

Steve: (spoken) Great! I'll grab my stuff!

{Steve and Mario run off. SMG4 crawls.}

‘’’Steve:’’’ (spoken) Adventure!

SMG4: I didn't actually want to find that pig again D:

Mario: smg4! think for the pigs out there for once!

Mario: THERE're PIGS OUT THERE TO BE HUMPED! but instead they're used for eating!

Mario: jeez insensitive.

{Steve talks to some pigs.}

Steve: (spoken) Hi guys!

Pigs: (spoken) Hi, Steve.

{Steve finds a cave.}

SMG4: oh hell no! pigs wouldnt go in there!

{A chicken walks into the cave.}

Steve: (spoken) *gasps* Chickens!

SMG4: no steve!!

{Steve finds an old man in the cave. The old man is styled after the old man from the first Legend of Zelda game.}

old man: ah i've been waiting for you!

Mario: oh great, is this what we came in for?

Mario: (spoken) Mama f**ker!

{Back in reality, the old man has a silly expression and is wearing nothing but underwear. He flails around and makes silly noises.}

{Cut to Steve's vision. The camera slowly zooms in on Steve's face.}

Old man: It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!

{The old man holds a sword. The camera slowly zooms in on Steve's face.}

{Cut back to reality.}

Mario: oh hooray...a bucket

{The old man humps the bucket.}

{Steve sees the man giving him a sword.}

{Cut to reality, where a bucket is above Steve's head.}

Text: Steve obtained the BUCKET OF TRUTH

SMG4: (spoken in a sarcastic tone) Woo-hoo.

{The Mexican Shy Guy flies in.}

Mexican Shy Guy: Now link!

{Zoom in on the hearts on The Legend of Zelda's status bar.}

Fill up your hearts!

So you can shoot...

{Steve shoots a fireball out of the bucket.}

Your sword with power!

{The fireball knocks Mario down.}

{It begins to rain}

And when you're feeling all down

{Navi flies by}

The fairy will come around

So you be brave

And not a

{Zoom in on Steve's face} SISS-Y

{Navi makes a trollface} COW-WARD

{Steve jumps around}

Steve: (spoken) Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!

{Steve falls in a ravine.}

SMG4: steve?! you allright!?

Steve: (spoken) Hi, guys!

{Mario and Steve are in the ravine. Mario cowers in fear until Steve hits him with his bucket.}

{SMG4 is crawling on the ground. A figure obscured by the shadows is around the corner.}

SMG4: oh god oh god oh god

{The figure runs away.}

SMG4: what would a pig be doing down here!?

{A spider drops down from the ceiling. Mario and SMG4 leap back, frightened, and begin to spin around, panicking.}

Steve: (spoken) Holy shit, what do I do?

{Steve tosses the bucket at the spider. It misses.}

{Mario and SMG4 continue to panic.}

Text on screen: we're screwed.

{"Deal with It" glasses slowly scroll down to cover Steve's eyes.}

Spider: (spoken) Here's Johnny!

{The spider is crushed by the shoes of a human.}

{Mario and SMG4 initially stare in shock before smiling.}

Mario and SMG4: (spoken) Thank you, stranger!

{The stranger is revealed to be Justin Bieber.}

Justin Bieber: (spoken) That'll be 85 dollars.

{Mario, SMG4, and Steve initially stand still before screaming and running away in fear.}

Steve: (spoken) You so ugly!

Voice: (spoken) You son of a bitch!

{Mario and Steve are in another cave section.}

Mario: oh crap...i think we lost him...

Mario: uhh who the hell is that?

Gay'o: (spoken) Hello, fellow travelers! You cannot pass until you answer my three riddles!

Steve: (spoken) Ain't nobody got time for that!

{Gay'o is now in a pit of lava, burning.}

Gay'o: My flesh! It burns!

{SMG4 and Steve encounter a dead end.}

SMG4: aww come on! that weirdo led us to a dead end!

Mario: oh well too late. he can't tell us

Gay'o: (spoken) I'M BURN! {screams in agony} FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

SMG4: uhhh, can't you get him out of the lava

Mario: (spoken) No!

{Justin Bieber's "Baby" begins to echo from a nearby cave.}


Mario: (spoken) RUN BITCH, RUN!

{Steve begins to destroy the dirt wall to the right of him. He uncovers a chest and opens it.}

Text: Steve obtained the GRUMPY OLD MAN

{Steve tosses the Grumpy Old Man.}

Old Man: (spoken) Just shut the fuck up!

{The music stops. Justin Bieber pokes his head from outside the cave.}

Mario: (spoken) Hallelujah—holy shit!

{Justin Bieber slowly growls. Steve kicks the Old Man.}

Gay'o: (spoken) Hey guys, I'm not dead! Yayayuh--{he is hit by the Old Man}

{Justin Bieber begins to rapidly flail his legs around.}

Justin Bieber: (spoken) You must die!

SMG4: oh lord! steve! what are you doing!?

{Steve takes off his clothes. He places many TNT crates around himself.}

Steve: (spoken) TROLOLOLOLOL--

SMG4: (spoken) Where are you getting all of those TN--

Steve: (spoken) AAH! I'm gonna do it!

{Mario and SMG4 panic.}

Gay'o: I never kissed a man!

{An explosion occurs.}

{Steve, SMG4, and Mario are now out of the cave. SMG4 and Mario are crawling away in absolute shock. The three encounter a village. Steve begins to explore it.}


SMG4: i think that explosion made us blind

Mario: hey what's steve doing?

Steve: (spoken) I just wonder what Ganon's up to?

{Cut to Steve's vision. Eggman is humping Female Steve while "Shut Up and Sleep with Me" by Sin With Sebastian plays in the background}

{Close-up on Steve's face}

{Steve runs down the street}

Steve: (spoken) Oh my God!

{Steve encounters a Villager}

Villager: (spoken) Hello!

Steve: (spoken) No!

{Steve blows up the villager.}

{Mario is trying to look through the window of a house.}

Mario: hey! it's that red egg guy!

{Eggman is preparing to cook the pig.}

{Steve has placed lots of TNT crates around the house.}

Steve: (spoken) Fuck you, motherfucker!

{Eggman is shocked. The house blows up. Eggman peeks out from a hole in the ground.}

Eggman: Dafuq?

{An Iron Golem in the now-demolished house looks around.}

Iron Golem: Aw, sh[BEEP]t!

{Steve jumps down into the hole to confront Eggman.}

Steve: I'm gonna kill you!

Eggman: Oh no you don't!

{Steve and Eggman face each other.}

{Mario stands with an exaggerated shocked expression.}

{In Steve's vision, he tosses the sword/bucket.}

{Back in reality, the bucket hits a note block, causing an instrumental version of "Baby" to play. The ground begins to rumble.}

Eggman: (spoken) What? What is this?

Steve: (spoken) Bye, guy!

{A giant Justin Bieber rises from over the horizon.}

Justin Bieber: (spoken) Who dares summon me?

Eggman: (spoken) Holy Jesus!

Mario: (spoken) Whoa!

Mario: uh...he said your voice was gay!

{Justin Bieber flails his arms around and shoots a laser beam at Dr. Eggman, producing an explosion that kills him.}

Justin Bieber: (spoken) Yeah, let that be a lesson to you.

{Justin Bieber sinks into the horizon. Mario is in shock and SMG4 is about to faint.}

Mexican Shy Guy: Now link!

{The Villagers celebrate Steve.}

has saved the day!

{Eggman is now buried in the ground, with one of his arms sticking out.}

put ganon!

{Mexican Shy Guy hits Eggman's arm.}

in his grave!

{Steve is humping Female Steve}

so now zelda is free

and now our hero shall be


{Steve runs into the horizon. The scene changes to a book titled "Legend of Steve."}

I think your name shall go down in history!

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