This page is the transcript for Super Pokeman 64: WELCOME TO POKEMANS!.
(Mario was sleeping in his house, until he woke up when he hears someone enter his bedroom.)
Mario: *snoring* Wah?! Who's there?!
Mario: Hello? Anyone there?
Mario: Mama mia...
Prof. Oak: Hello there!
Mario: *screaming* WHO THE!?
Prof. Oak: Welcome to the world of Pokémon! My name is Oak! Glad to meet you!
Mario: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE! GET OUT!
Prof. Oak: Now tell me, are you a boy or are you a girl? *licking vigorously*
(Mario throws Oak out of the window, shattering glass can be heard)
Prof. Oak: Shit!
Mario: Oh god... Man... in my house.... help...
Mario: This place is weird, JUST 1 DAY and there's old men in my bed!
Mario's "Mom": GOOD MORNING. HOWR ARE YOUUU?!?!!!
Mario: HOLY CRAP I HAVE A MOM!?
Mario's "Mom": YES, YOU ALSO HAVE A NEW DAD!!!!
Old Man Hobo: Who's that?
Mario: Ahh screw it. At least someone can make my sandwiches now... See all you freaks later.
Mario's "Mom": You should go see the Professor!!!!! He wanted you!!
Mario: You mean that creepy old dude in my bed?! Yeah. Not gonna happen!
Mario's "Mom": OH YEAH I BROUGHT THESE SHOES FOR YOU.
Mario: Ahh yes, Beautiful morning.
Pokémon Trainer #1: Nope.
Pokémon Trainer #1: You need a Pokémon. It's too dangerous!
Mario: The f**k? Can I just get past...
Pokémon Trainer #1: You might get yourself killed out there!
Prof. Oak: Now what took ya so long?
Mario: I'm only here cause some woman won't let me get past without a Pokéman.
Prof. Oak: This world is inhabited far and wide by creatures called Poké-
Mario: B*TCH DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE? NO.
Gary "DICKS": What about me, Granddad? Don't I get a Pokémon?
Prof. Oak: Oh yes, Correct, sir. Um...
Prof. Oak: *whispers to Mario* What's his name again?
Mario: *psst* *psst* (whispering)
Prof. Oak: That's right! I remember now! His name is "Dicks"!
Gary "DICKS": Oh, you're a dick. I'm so being your nemesis now.
(A Pokémon battle is sequenced)
Nemesis DICKS want to battle! DICKS sent out MLGsexy wife!
Mario: *Laughs* Imma bet you can't do this.
Mario send out "Super Useful Luigi"
Mario: WAHA! Mama****er!
Gary "DICKS": HAHA! YOU WILL NEVER BEAT MY POKÉMON!
(Mario shoots his rival's Pokémon)
Gary "DICKS": Bull***t!
Super Useful Luigi: Oh yeah.
Mario: Since I'm so good, Can I have all your Pokémon, Professor?
Prof. Oak: GET THE FOOK OUT OF MY HOUSE.
Mario: I'm finally a Pokéman trainer! Time to ditch school!
(Mario came across a field of tall grass)
Mario: Oh crap, Tall-grass, Well I adventured far enough... What did that old lady say about tall grass?
Old Lady CALL 911 NOW!!!
Mario: Meh...Yolo!!! Careful... Careful... Oof, ****!
A WILD JIGGLYPUFF APPEARED!
Mario: OK LUIGI! We got this!
Super Useful Luigi: Go, Weegee!
Mario: LUIGI. USE THE BEAT THE CRAP OUT IT ATTACK!
Luigi got JigglyAIDS
Mario: Oh... Wait, what happens if I run out of Pokémon?
(GTA death sound)
WASTED Mario ran out of Pokémon and blacked out
Nurse Joy: Sir, we only heal Pokémon, Not humans...
Mario: Bullshit! This is definitely a Pokémon!
Nurse Joy: Nope sorry...
Super Useful Luigi: *sobbing*
Mario: You son of a bitch!
Luigi is now fully traumatized
Gary "DICKS": Where is he!? I'm gonna get revenge!
Old Man: Hey You're the Professor's nephew...Uhh.. Jessie, right?
Gary "DICKS": Gary! My name is Gary!
Old Man: You're a boy?
Mario: Can I just play football instead of this shit?
Clerk: Why don't ya try catching Pokémon?
Mario: Catching Pokémon???
Mario: Imma gonna get you!
(Mario encounters a wild Foongus)
Mario: I got you!
(Foongus suddenly evolves)
:O tiny mushroom is evolving!
Tiny mushroom evolved into Mentally Pissed off Toad
Mentally Pissed off Toad: *screaming furiously*
Mario: What the fuck? Jesus!
Scientist: Hey. What the?
Prof. Oak: Welcome. It's so good to see you.
Mario: SHUT UP PROFESSOR!
Mentally Pissed off Toad: *screaming furiously*
(Mario uses Pokéball)
Mario: Hurry up already!
Mentally Pissed off Toad: *muffled screaming*
Mario: No!... *struggling* Oh, yeah!
Mario caught Mentally Pissed off Toad
Prof. Oak: Congrats on your first caught Pokémon!
Mario: Shut the fuck up!
Steve: Hey daddy!
Steve: I made a new friend!
Red: Holy fuck!
Mario: Hmm I wonder what this Pokédex the Professor gave me does?
(Mario encounters a Pikachu, uses Pokédex)
Pokédex: That's a Pikachu. Pikachu's have tails.
Mario: WOW! How useful! :D
Pokédex: That's a hobo. LOL look at it's beard.
Hobo: *yelling gibberish*
Pokédex: That's a dead body. T-Bag it, and you will get good luck.
Mario: This is like a book of true facts! Awesome! Hey you! You see this awesomeness?!
Mario: Hey! HELLO!? Don't ignore the Great Mario!
Pokémon Trainer #2: Stop right here! Let's battle!
Pokémon Trainer #2: What?!
Mario: Ain't nobody got time for that!
Pokémon Trainer #2: PLEASE! I'LL LET YOU KEEP MY CLOTHES!
Mario: Oh, hell No!
Pokémon Trainer #2: Goddammit Mario! I don't like you giving me this shit!
Pokémon Trainer #2: (demonic voice) Now give your soul!
Mario: Mama mia! fine...
Pokémon Trainer #2: c: Let's battle!
Really creepy guy wants to battle!
Mario: I'M NOT GOING EASY ON YOU! Fuck him up!
Few minutes later...
Nurse Joy: You lose a battle again?
Mario: Shut up!
Mario: *hoof* ...I'm about to give up on this crap...
Gary "DICKS": *Huff* Ah there you are! *Puff* Where the hell have you been!?
Mario: Ah DICKS! There you are! How's life treating you?
Gary "DICKS": My name is Gary! AH SCREW IT, I'M HERE TO GET REVENGE!
Mario: That's nice... I like your theme song.
Gary "DICKS": You little shit.
blah blab blah DICKS wants to battle
Mario: Why don't you come at me bro! (Mario calls out Mentally Pissed off Toad.)
(Gary "DICKS" sends out a Weedle.)
Mario: *holding laughter* (Mario starts laughing)
Gary "DICKS": Oh, shut up. He's Alright.
("DICKS" Weedle sends Mentally Pissed off Toad flying.)
Mario: Oh, shit!
Gary "DICKS": You feel it now, bitch!
LUIGI used Punch Well. That didn't do sh*t.
Gary "DICKS": This is where that ugly one dies!!!
Mario: Come on Mario... Think.... I got it! LUIGI! EAT MY SPAGHETTI!
Super Useful Luigi: Okie dokey!
LUIGI is reacting to the spaghetti!
Mario: Spaghetti, let's-a go!
(Mega Evolution transformation sequence.)
LUIGI Mega Evolved into WEEGEE emerged
Mega WEEGEE: You... You think this is a game?!
(Mega WEEGEE sends DICKS flying) (DICKS screaming)
Luigi gained 0.4 Exp. Mario crapped in his pants
DICKS became a bird!
Mario: *cheering* Oh yeah!
(Mentally Pissed off Toad comes out of nowhere and attacks Mario. Killing him. Resulting a Game Over)
SMG4: Argh! Bull****! **** this! **** this stupid, ****ing game!