Super Pokeman 64: WELCOME TO POKEMANS!/Transcript

	THAT BAFOON!
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This page is the transcript for Super Pokeman 64: WELCOME TO POKEMANS!.

Transcript

(Mario was sleeping in his house, until he woke up when he hears someone enter his bedroom.)

Mario: *snoring* Wah?! Who's there?!

Mario: Hello? Anyone there?

Mario: Mama mia...

Prof. Oak: Hello there!

Mario: *screaming* WHO THE!?

Prof. Oak: Welcome to the world of Pokémon! My name is Oak! Glad to meet you!

Mario: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE! GET OUT!

Prof. Oak: Now tell me, are you a boy or are you a girl? *licking vigorously*

(Mario throws Oak out of the window, shattering glass can be heard)

Prof. Oak: Shit!

(SMG4 intro.)

Mario: Oh god... Man... in my house.... help...

Mario: This place is weird, JUST 1 DAY and there's old men in my bed!

Mario: *humming*

Mario's "Mom": GOOD MORNING. HOWR ARE YOUUU?!?!!!

Mario: HOLY CRAP I HAVE A MOM!?

Mario's "Mom": YES, YOU ALSO HAVE A NEW DAD!!!!

Old Man Hobo: Who's that?

Mario: Ahh screw it. At least someone can make my sandwiches now... See all you freaks later.

Mario's "Mom": You should go see the Professor!!!!! He wanted you!!

Mario: You mean that creepy old dude in my bed?! Yeah. Not gonna happen!

Mario's "Mom": OH YEAH I BROUGHT THESE SHOES FOR YOU.

Mario: Ahh yes, Beautiful morning.

Mario: *humming*

Pokémon Trainer #1: Nope.

Mario: Whoa!

Pokémon Trainer #1: You need a Pokémon. It's too dangerous!

Mario: The f**k? Can I just get past...

Pokémon Trainer #1: You might get yourself killed out there!

Mario: Mama****er!

Prof. Oak: Now what took ya so long?

Mario: I'm only here cause some woman won't let me get past without a Pokéman.

Prof. Oak: This world is inhabited far and wide by creatures called Poké-

Mario: B*TCH DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE? NO.

Gary "DICKS": What about me, Granddad? Don't I get a Pokémon?

Prof. Oak: Oh yes, Correct, sir. Um...

Prof. Oak: *whispers to Mario* What's his name again?

Mario: *psst* *psst* (whispering)

Prof. Oak: That's right! I remember now! His name is "Dicks"!

Gary "DICKS": Oh, you're a dick. I'm so being your nemesis now.

(A Pokémon battle is sequenced)

Nemesis DICKS want to battle!

DICKS sent out MLGsexy wife!

Mario: *Laughs* Imma bet you can't do this.

Mario send out "Super Useful Luigi"

Mario: WAHA! Mama****er!

Gary "DICKS": HAHA! YOU WILL NEVER BEAT MY POKÉMON!

(Mario shoots his rival's Pokémon)

Gary "DICKS": Bull***t!

Super Useful Luigi: Oh yeah.

Mario: Since I'm so good, Can I have all your Pokémon, Professor?

Prof. Oak: GET THE FOOK OUT OF MY HOUSE.

Mario: I'm finally a Pokéman trainer! Time to ditch school!

(Mario came across a field of tall grass)

Mario: Oh crap, Tall-grass, Well I adventured far enough... What did that old lady say about tall grass?

(thought bubble)

Old Lady CALL 911 NOW!!!

Mario: Meh...Yolo!!! Careful... Careful... Oof, ****!

A WILD JIGGLYPUFF APPEARED!

Mario: OK LUIGI! We got this!

Super Useful Luigi: Go, Weegee!

Mario: LUIGI. USE THE BEAT THE CRAP OUT IT ATTACK!

Luigi got JigglyAIDS

Luigi fainted

Mario: Oh... Wait, what happens if I run out of Pokémon?

(GTA death sound)

WASTED
Mario ran out of Pokémon and blacked out

Nurse Joy: Sir, we only heal Pokémon, Not humans...

Mario: Bullshit! This is definitely a Pokémon!

Nurse Joy: Nope sorry...

Super Useful Luigi: *sobbing*

Mario: You son of a bitch!

(healing sound)

Luigi is now fully traumatized

Gary "DICKS": Where is he!? I'm gonna get revenge!

Old Man: Hey You're the Professor's nephew...Uhh.. Jessie, right?

Gary "DICKS": Gary! My name is Gary!

Old Man: You're a boy?

Mario: Can I just play football instead of this shit?

Clerk: Why don't ya try catching Pokémon?

Mario: Catching Pokémon???

	THAT BAFOON!
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Mario: Imma gonna get you!

(Mario encounters a wild Foongus)

Mario: I got you!

(Foongus suddenly evolves)

:O tiny mushroom is evolving!

 Tiny mushroom evolved into Mentally Pissed off Toad

Mentally Pissed off Toad: *screaming furiously*

Mario: What the fuck? Jesus!

Mario: *screaming*

Scientist: Hey. What the?

Prof. Oak: Welcome. It's so good to see you.

Mario: SHUT UP PROFESSOR!

Mentally Pissed off Toad: *screaming furiously*

(Mario uses Pokéball)

Mario: Hurry up already!

Mentally Pissed off Toad: *muffled screaming*

Mario: No!... *struggling* Oh, yeah!

Mario caught Mentally Pissed off Toad

Prof. Oak: Congrats on your first caught Pokémon!

Mario: Shut the fuck up!

Steve: Hey daddy!

Red: What?

Steve: I made a new friend!

Red: Holy fuck!

Steve: Yeah!

Mario: Hmm I wonder what this Pokédex the Professor gave me does?

(Mario encounters a Pikachu, uses Pokédex)

Pokédex: That's a Pikachu. Pikachu's have tails.

Mario: WOW! How useful! :D

Pokédex: That's a hobo. LOL look at it's beard.

Hobo: *yelling gibberish*

Pokédex: That's a dead body. T-Bag it, and you will get good luck.

Mario: This is like a book of true facts! Awesome! Hey you! You see this awesomeness?!

Mario: Hey! HELLO!? Don't ignore the Great Mario!

Pokémon Trainer #2: Stop right here! Let's battle!

Mario: No!

Pokémon Trainer #2: What?!

Mario: Ain't nobody got time for that!

Pokémon Trainer #2: PLEASE! I'LL LET YOU KEEP MY CLOTHES!

Mario: Oh, hell No!

Pokémon Trainer #2: Goddammit Mario! I don't like you giving me this shit!

Pokémon Trainer #2: (demonic voice) Now give your soul!

Mario: Mama mia! fine...

Pokémon Trainer #2: c: Let's battle!

Really creepy guy wants to battle!

Mario: I'M NOT GOING EASY ON YOU! Fuck him up!

Few minutes later...

(healing sound)

Nurse Joy: You lose a battle again?

Mario: Shut up!

Mario: *hoof* ...I'm about to give up on this crap...

Gary "DICKS": *Huff* Ah there you are! *Puff* Where the hell have you been!?

Mario: Ah DICKS! There you are! How's life treating you?

Gary "DICKS": My name is Gary! AH SCREW IT, I'M HERE TO GET REVENGE!

Mario: That's nice... I like your theme song.

Gary "DICKS": You little shit.

blah blab blah
DICKS wants to battle

Mario: Why don't you come at me bro! (Mario calls out Mentally Pissed off Toad.)

(Gary "DICKS" sends out a Weedle.)

Mario: *holding laughter* (Mario starts laughing)

Gary "DICKS": Oh, shut up. He's Alright.

("DICKS" Weedle sends Mentally Pissed off Toad flying.)

Mario: Oh, shit!

Gary "DICKS": You feel it now, bitch!

(Luigi exclaiming)

LUIGI used Punch
Well. That didn't do sh*t.

Mario: Luigi!

(Luigi crying)

Gary "DICKS": This is where that ugly one dies!!!

Mario: Come on Mario... Think.... I got it! LUIGI! EAT MY SPAGHETTI!

Super Useful Luigi: Okie dokey!

(Luigi groaning.)

LUIGI is reacting to the spaghetti!

Mario: Spaghetti, let's-a go!

(Mario singing)

(Mega Evolution transformation sequence.)

LUIGI Mega Evolved into WEEGEE emerged

Mega WEEGEE: You... You think this is a game?!

(Mega WEEGEE sends DICKS flying) (DICKS screaming)

Mario wins!

Luigi gained 0.4 Exp.
Mario crapped in his pants

DICKS became a bird!

Mario: *cheering* Oh yeah!

(Mentally Pissed off Toad comes out of nowhere and attacks Mario. Killing him. Resulting a Game Over)

GAME OVER

SMG4: Argh! Bull****! **** this! **** this stupid, ****ing game!

(SMG4 Outro)