The (TOTALLY ACCURATE) Documentary of Mario is the forty-first episode of Season 3 and the one hundred and fortieth overall to be uploaded by SMG4.
It is an episode related to the Genesis Arc. It was aired on August 18, 2013.
Timeline
- 1928: Mario was born somewhere in Italy; according to SMG4, he was so ugly, his father was horrified by the sight of his son and attempted to kill him, "before he laid eggs". Upon being given the baby, his parents threw him out of their car and onto the side of the road before speeding off. Until they met their demise by crashing and dying (according to Mario himself, he was a sexy girl).
- 1930: Baby Mario was found and taken to a foster home, meeting his lost younger brother Luigi, whom he formed an "unbreakable" bond with. This meeting is shown in greater detail in the metafictional Luigi video in SMG4: Deleted.
- 1942: At 14 years of age, Mario and Luigi attended high school. According to himself, Mario was apparently a "star" student (he actually set his teacher on fire). He was also popular, but danced naked in the showers, freaking Luigi out. Mario eventually falls in love with a bowl of Spaghetti for the first time (which is when the nightmare began). Mario's reputation hit rock bottom when he was reportedly buying drugs from a Toad dealer in the parking garage. Taking these drugs led to horrible consequences. They made him absolutely batshit crazy, with footage captured of him violently trashing an office, screeching in incoherent German (although SMG4 states he's apparently acting normal during this). This also led to him doing more stupid or crazy shit, like spooking peers naked in the pool and dancing on the roof, causing him to get yelled at by the principal. Eventually, under unknown circumstances, Mario ended up burning the whole school down, leading the principal to despise him forever. Following that, needless to say, Mario's experience with drugs made him quite a hopeless, crazy, wreck of a man.
- 1945: However, Mario managed to get off of drugs and recovered. He eventually found work as a plumber with Luigi. The two attended Plumber Academy for Idiots (although Mario didn't graduate, he still got the job). Mario states he doesn't mind pipes but hates the fact the people crap in them.
- 1985: In real life, Nintendo released Super Mario Bros. for the NES.
- 1991: Mario eventually got a call from Peach Toadstool, who invites him to come to her castle, to "clean her shat". Mario arrives at the castle, but ringing the doorbell sets off alarms and sets a Chain Chomp after him.
- 1993: Going into the castle, Mario meets Toad. At first, Toad is happy to meet him (he later states that unfortunately spending years living with Mario and his retarded antics made him the grumpy little wiener he is today). But with no princess in sight, Mario sees a fat Dragon-Koopa named Bowser standing around eating a sandwich. Impatient and frustrated, Mario knocks the sandwich out of Bowser's hands and on the floor. This traumatizes Bowser and causes him to become Mario's nemesis and always kidnap Peach.
- 1995: Mario keeps visiting the castle, much to chagrin of Peach. However, eventually, Mario and Luigi form a family of sorts with Peach and Toad.
- 1997: Mario eventually learns of a video game company called Nintendo, who back then was just getting started. They needed a mascot, and Mario, intrigued, decided to volunteer. Appealing to the CEO that kids would like him, the CEO agreed. Thus, Mario became the mascot of Nintendo, and thus millions of video games were made about him and his adventures.
- 2002: Rumors spread that Mario was taking drugs again, causing him to become a criminal again. He sells free candy (drugs) and got wasted at bars and disorderly conduct and other illegal shit.
- 2007: This caused him to be fired from Nintendo; losing his lucrative job, Mario becomes a bum, eating spaghetti all the damn time, becoming a fatass (in reality, Mario is still working for Nintendo and gets lots of money because of his games).
- 2011-onward: He meets and starts working for SMG4 full time, leading to the bloopers since then.
- Spaghetti: Mario dies (possibly due to eating too much spaghetti).
Characters
Main Characters
Minor Characters
- Baby Mario
- Luigi
- Larry Fattman debut
- Unnamed Employer
- Toad
- Bowser
- Peach Toadstool
Cameos
- Mario's Father debut/Death
- Dr. Mario
- Baby Luigi
- Stacy
- OiramOiram12345 X
- MalleoThePlumber
- Paper Weegee debut
- Piranha Plant
- Chain Chomp
- Reggie debut
- Shigeru Miyamoto debut
- Goombas
- Hal the Koopa debut
- Jeff the Goomba debut
- Lakitu (Rick Finkelstein?) debut
- Birdo debut
- Chargin' Chuck debut
- Monty Mole
- Wendy O. Koopa
- Kamek (Jasper?) debut
- Dino Rhino debut
Trivia
- The narration is done by SMG4 himself (and not The Narrator) since the narrator in this video adores 'the man Mario works for', referring to him (-self) as a "sexy sexy man", and is voiced by Luke.
- This is one of the first times his voice is heard in his videos.
- In the intro, the narrator refers to Mario as "Mr. Mario"
- This may be a remake of the blooper How Mario was Born.
- This video reuses footage from Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Clone O' Mario.
- This also may be a reference to Superman: Secret Origins, both being yet another take on the origin of Mario and Superman respectively, even after previous stories did the same thing (How Mario was Born and Superman: Birthright).
- A metafictional video shown in SMG4: Deleted would have expanded on how Mario & Luigi met in the orphanage.
- This video got blocked due to copyright issues due to using Marvin Gaye's song "Let's Get it On".
- With the removal of this video (not counting reuploads), it could be implied it is no longer canon as Mario's backstory in the SMGVerse, having been rebooted with SMG4 Origin. It can be implied that this is a false recollection caused by memes.
- As of July 2021, the video has been restored.
- With the removal of this video (not counting reuploads), it could be implied it is no longer canon as Mario's backstory in the SMGVerse, having been rebooted with SMG4 Origin. It can be implied that this is a false recollection caused by memes.
| v - e - d |
| Season 12 | |
|---|---|
| Overall Episodes 693 to 702 | Mario Waits For The Bus · Freddy's Spaghetteria Security Breach · SMG4 Season 12 Episode 3 · SMG4 Season 12 Episode 4 · SMG4 Season 12 Episode 5 · SMG4 Season 12 Episode 6 · SMG4 Season 12 Episode 7 · SMG4 Season 12 Episode 8 · SMG4 Season 12 Episode 9 · SMG4 Season 12 Episode 10 |
| Other | |
|---|---|
| Overall Episodes 1 to 10 | LOOKING FOR ACTORS · SMG4: Goodbye Meggy · ??? · SMG4 EXPOSED?! I'M ACTUALLY A MONKEY |
