Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
Template:BG/General This is the transcript for The Mario Channel: MARIOBUSTERS.
Transcript
(The Mario Channel intro.)
Mario: Welcome to Mariobusters! Where I bust myths around the mushroom kingdom! Today, our first myth is going to be...
Can Humans Fly?
(Luigi is shown in a shopping cart with balloons attached.)
Luigi: Call 911 now!
Mario: LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLE!
(The cart fires up as Luigi screams. He falls out as the cart takes off.)
BUSTED
(Mariobusters logo.)
Mario: Woah!
Can 1-UP Mushrooms Bring You Back to Life?
(A guy is walking when Mario runs him over with a kart.)
Mario: (Throws a 1-UP mushroom at him.) Take-a that! (It doesn't work.)
BUSTED
Do Shy Guys Like Toast?
(Mario raises some toast.)
Mario: Come here, fishy fishy fishy. Here, fishy fishy... (He looks around to find nobody.) Hello? Aye! ...Yoohoo? Hey, where did everybody go? (Surprise! A flock of Shy Guys swarm toward a screaming Mario and take the toast, leaving Mario behind... At least his skeleton and cap.)
CONFIRMED (Great!)
Can Red Shells Attack People From Far Away?
Mario: (With a red shell.) Go little shell! Go kick Wario's ass! (He kicks the shell. It then cuts to Wario surrounded by garlic when he hears the phone ring. He goes and answers it.)
Wario: Yeah???
Red Shell: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. I will look for you. I will find you. And I will kill you. (It hangs up. The doorbell rings. A nervous Wario goes to answer it, only to find... A pizza delivery guy.)
Pizza Man: Hell, ma'am. Here's your pizza.
Wario: (Laughs, then takes the pizza box.) Have a rotten day!
(He throws the box on the table. He opens it, but to his surprise...)
Red Shell: Surprise, mothafucka!
(A screaming Wario is shot out of the house.)
CONFIRMED (Great!)
Is Luigi Gay?
Luigi: WHAT?!
CONFIRMED (Great!)
Can Stars Make You Invincible?
(Mario gets hold of a Power Star.)
Mario: I HAVE THE POWEEEEER! (Gets shot.)
Attempt #2
(Mario is covered in Power Stars.)
Mario: Who's laughing now? (Still gets shot.)
PLAUSIBLE (Pingas!)
Does Fishy Boopkins Have Any Friends?
Fishy Boopkins: O-Of course I do! I have a lot off friends! I have this rubber ducky! And this half-eaten sandwich! Uh, will you be my friend?
BUSTED
Fishy Boopkins: Noooo, okay...
Are Boos Scaredy Cats?
(A couple Boos are playing a Slender-type game until Mario comes in and nearly gives them heart attacks.)
Boo: What the fuck?! I don't know what I'm doing!
(Mario keeps coming in and scaring them until they flee.)
CONFIRMED (Great!)
Will SMG4 Ever Find Love?
(SMG4 is at McDonald's.)
SMG4: So, you like jazz?
(It shows SMG4 is talking to his computer. SMG4 is forever alone.)
BUSTED
Is Dr. Mario Actually A Real Doctor?
Dr. Mario: You dare question my genius!? I'll show you! (He goes into the hospital and starts shooting pills, putting a bandage on Heavy, and throwing a frozen Toad into lava. By the end of it all, he realizes he killed everyone.) SHIT!
BUSTED
Does Bowser Love Peach?
(Bowser is going gaga over a Peach poster.)
CONFIRMED (Great!)
Does Peach Love Bowser?
(Bowser goes to Peach's window and starts dancing to At Night I Think Of You, then puts up a sign saying "Do You Love Me? :D". Peach's response? Flip the bird at him. Bowser gets depressed.)
BUSTED
Can Mushrooms Make Your Car Go Faster?
(Mario is at a race course. He revs up the kart, with two mushrooms jammed into the rear.)
Mario: Oh, looks like the engine is preparing to go reaaaally fast... Let's listen to one of Mario's new mixtapes while we wait. :D (He puts in a cassette, then moves to the music. The kart's rear goes up in flames.)
Mario: Wow! The kart is on fire...that means... MARIO'S RAPPIN' ON FIAHH! (The kart blows up.)
BUSTED
Can Fishy Boopkins Steal the Declaration of Independence?
(Fishy Boopkins notices that the DOI is in a glass case.)
Fishy Boopkins: Oooh, shiny! I want to touch it... (He triggers the alarm.) OH NO! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!
(Authorities arrive.)
Picholas Cage: STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLE!
(Fishy Boopkins panics then steals the DOI and runs like hell.)
Fishy Boopkins: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, BITCHES! (He notices he outran them.) Did I make it? Oh yay, I made it...! (Gets crushed by police cars.) ...My ovaries.
PLAUSIBLE (Pingas!)
Is Steve a Genius?
Steve invents flying cars
Steve: We have technology! (A bunch of chickens are attached to a car.)
Mario: Fucking... GENIUSSS! (He gets in the car.) Okie dokie! Let's go!
(Steve plants Colonel Sanders.)
Sanders: Helloooooo!
(The chickens get frightened and take off... With the car, and Mario inside of it.)
Steve: YES!
(Sadly, it doesn't last, as the car's weight causes it to plunge below, taking a screaming Mario with it.)
CONFIRMED (Great!)
Is it Possible to See John Cena?
(Mario turns around and sees John Cena.)
Mario: Well that was to easy. :D
(Cena gets triggered, and puts coins in Mario's eyes.)
Mario: Mamaf*cker!
BUSTED
Can Mario Actually Become Paper Mario?
Mario: Here we go! (He gets repeatedly crushed by a Thwomp. In the end, he looks less like "Paper Mario" and more like "Crushed Mario".)
Mario: Nailed it! (He dances as "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire plays.)
BUSTED
Is Bob the Most Annoying Creature in the World?
Bob: What are you talking about? Everyone loves me. I'll show you. (He talks to someone.) Excuse me, mister. Hello there. Do- (The stranger blows up.) Son of a bitch!
CONFIRMED (Great!)
Can POW-Blocks Cause a Tsunami?
Mario: It's-a Mario time! (He hits a POW-Block in the water, but nothing happens.) Grrrr...
Attempt #2
Mario: Okie dokie, here we go again! (He merely touches a POW-Block, and the whole of Earth gets knocked out.) Oh shit!
PLAUSIBLE (Pingas!)
Are the Koopa Kids Actually Bowser's Children?
Doctor: The results are in! You ARE the father!
Bowser: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
CONFIRMED (Great!)
Do Piranha Plants Have Legs?
Mario: (Mocking a Piranha Plant.) Haha, you'll never get a piece of dis ass!
Piranha Plant: OH HELL NAAAAAH! (It pops up... And it shows two cute little legs and a butt, which greatly surprises Mario. It then starts dancing as Mario backs away quickly.)
Mario: Okie dokie...
CONFIRMED (Great!)
Mario: Oh boy! Itsa time for Mario's final myth! The most intense and famous myth of all time!
Can Mario Slap Everyone in the Kingdom on the Ass in Under 10 Seconds?
Mario: It's-a Mario time!
(He cracks his knuckles... And starts going around the entire Kingdom literally slapping people's rear ends. He ends with sending Bowser flying. The timer shows 9.576. He celebrates this accomplishment.)
CONFIRMED (Great!)
Mario: Well, this concludes this episode of mariobusters, thanks for watc-
SMG4: HEY, FUCKER!
(Mario turns in surprise to see SMG4, Luigi, Peach, and a very, very angry mob in front of him.)
SMG4: There he is! He touched our butts! FUCK HIM UP!
(Mario goes into severe panic mode.)
Can Mario Survive an Ass Whoopin'?
(SMG4, Peach: Eggman, and Donkey Kong are beating Mario. They leave.)
Mario: Huh? Is that it? That wasn't so bad!
(Suddenly, he's thrown onto train tracks and tied up. He notices that a gun-wielding Thomas the Weed Engine is approaching him.)
Thomas: Choo choo, mothafucka! (Mario screams as Thomas shoots him.)
BUSTED
(Credits roll.)